Listening Fills Our Emptiness

Listening Fills Our Emptiness

I have been writing a blog for sometime and today it occurred to me that listening fills our emptiness. I wonder how I can write a listening blog. Since my blog entries have no comments from readers, I wonder if anyone reads what I write.
I thought about that and I also saw that a true listener is not filled with his/her own words. In fact, a true listener is a blank page, and that allows him or her tp focus completely on what the other person is saying, and see the para language, the nonverbal messages that add meaning. Should a blog be a blank page?

Those who speak to us require some feedback, just enough to encourage the other person to share his/her thoughts, but not some much that the flow of the other person's communication is interrupted Effective and fulfilling listening takes practice. Many interactions will be short, but meaningful. A message that is too long may lose the attention of the listener, even an experienced listener.

I went shopping and I noticed the enthusiasm of the woman who was assisting the check out clerk. She had very short hair, shorter than a crew cut and I said to her, "I like your hair," She ran her hand across the top of her head and said,"Thank you." I asked her if she liked her job and she answered, "I applied when I was living in Seattle, and they hired me on the spot. I moved my husband anf family so I could work here."

This wasn't an ordinary company. Those that they hire start at $11 an hour. Getting her new job was a major event in her life. It required her to move a long way from her home and start a new job. Her enthusiasm flowed from her new job, and she seemed to love her job. It was obvious that the company gota good deal and a great worker.

A lot of people don't seem to have the time to talk or listen. They are too busy.
It seems like the times when men sat together smoking their pipes and sharing with each other has ended. Perhaps they are like the dragon, in my picture. relaxing and smoking his pipe. He is alone and his scales protect him.

Curtis

Nobody Wins

Nobody Wins

Darwin wrote, "Life is the survival of the fittest."

The conflict of nations, ethnic groups, street gangs, and tough men and women may be about survival, control, dominance, and gaining wealth. Sometimes it is about freedom an protecting innocents. When innocents are killed during a war, a drive by shooting, or by a shoot out, it is called collateral damage. It seems to be an escape clause and to be derived from the reasoning that it is normal for innocent people to die during the lethal part of violent human conflicts.

We live in a world where we need warriors and war machines to protect us from our enemies. We need police men and women to protect us from violent criminals and street gangs, and organized crime. More and more citizens study the martial arts and/or get gun permits because they have watched innocent people beaten or killed, and they don't feel safe.

If Darwin is right, if may be helpful to learn how to use a hand gun if you live or work in violent parts of our cities. That might keep a woman from being raped or any number of people from being killed for the money in their cash registers or wallets. Do we live in a world that requires us to take these measures to save our lives or save us from severe beatings? Martial arts can also help to insure our safety. Will the inability to protect ourselves result in more death and/or severe beatings?

In every case, the use of violence may leave another person, good or bad. injured or dead. Canada has used a radically different approach. Canada does a good job of taking care of the needs of its citizens. They have created a system that offers food, shelter, and medical care to all of its citizens. They believe that all people deserve that. In that country crimes and violence are very rare. What would happen if every nation had that kind of system in place?

President Obama is facing huge opposition from Republicans and many Democrats because he wants to insure that every American has medical care. The rich say that his national health plan will raise taxes and they have TV ads to convince the people to oppose it. Obama's approval rating has dropped to fifty percent. It cost a lot of money for Canada's approach, but it also includes decent housing and food, and reasonable financial help. Canada has created a country where violence and crime are very rare. Why is our nation unwilling to embrace that system? We see them as socialists and we are told that socialism is bad, but if that means that all of their people are valued and cared for, is it bad?

Our system is failing and our homeless and unemployment numbers have increased dramatically. The number of blue color jobs for America's work force has fallen to its lowest level. Sixty five million working Americans have no health insurance. Though the crisis in our country began in the seventies, we have just begun to see that our nation is in trouble. Most of our auto makers are bankrupt, and service jobs are going overseas along with many "professional" jobs.

In our battle with drugs, violence, and crime. it seems that nobody wins. Two percent of our citizens are living in overcrowded prisons and jails The majority of the inmates were convicted for drug related crimes and we have very little money for counseling and rehabilitation. When there is little or no help, there is no hope.

Perhaps it is time for more Americans to vote,YES, for America. Less than thirty percent of us vote, and/or give $ to support candidates. Our votes, many more voters, may change our country and help our president to help all Americans. That would be a win win situation.

Curtis

Monsters Are Real

Monsters Are Real

One night my son came to talk to me. I was smoking my pipe and working on a model. It was late, but his question led me to put aside the model car and talk to him. He asked, "Daddy, are monsters real?" I thought about his question for awhile, about what monsters mean to a little boy. Do the monsters in our dreams express the bad things in our lives that we have to face everyday?

When I was a graduate student I took lessons in Kenpo karate because I needed some exercise. A father brought his twelve year old son for lessons. He had a good reason. Three bullies stopped his son at the beginning of his paper route. They took his papers out of his newspaper bag everyday and threw them randomly all about. I taught him Kenpo and he worked hard. Finally he was ready. The three bullies appeared as usual and the boy followed my instructions. He took off his news paper bag and said, "I don't want to hurt you." They laughed at him. He placed his left hand on the leaders left shoulder and delivered a rams head punch to his stomach. The leader fell to the ground gasping for air. The leader wasn't hurt; he just got the wind knocked out of him. The boy made his point and the three bullies never bothered him again. His bullies were monsters in his eyes, and he was afraid of them. After he dealt with them, he wasn't afraid anymore, but they were afraid of him.

I am not suggesting that physical violence is the best way to deal with our monsters. In fact, I believe it is seldom necessary. There are times when it may save our lives, or when it is the last resort. Many times the confidence that I gained from learning Kenpo karate was enough to send a bully looking for some one else, a person that is afraid of bullies. We need to stand up to our monsters and deal with them, or we will always live with fear. Words are powerful. Words can often solve our problems with our monsters.

Some situations don't allow us to deal with our monsters. That doesn't mean that we have to fear them. They may be people close to us who are unwilling to deal with their stuff. They are passive aggressive, and they avoid any kind of conflict, even when things may be resolved. We learn to let go and let live in those situations. Those situations may hurt a lot and it may be hard to let go of our pain.

After a few moments, I answered my son, "Yes, monsters are real, but Jesus is bigger than our monsters and he can deal with them." My son smiled after we prayed, and went to bed. I wondered what about the monsters he was facing.
He is grown up now, and he is very good at dealing with his monsters.

Loves More Than One, But No Infidelity

Loves More Than One, But No Infidelity

We watched an interesting episode of Star Trek Enterprise. Once again, Captain Archer had offended the aliens. His dog, Porthos, peed on one of the tress that they considered sacred. The doctor sent the aliens genetic information about Porthos, and they should have known that something in their environment would make his dog very sick. If they had warned Captain Archer, Porthos would have stayed on the star ship, Enterprise. Porthos got so sick that the doctor wasn't sure if he would live through the night.

The aliens demanded an apology for Porthos' indiscretion. Captain Archer felt that they owed him an apology because his dog was dying. The aliens made plasma inductors and his star ship needed one. He would have to apologize or the aliens would not give them a plasma inductor. He loved his star ship and his crew, but it seemed that he loved Porthos more. Porthos was dying and he was very angry, and there was no way that he would apologize.

Captain Archer's love for Porthos, his star ship, and crew was appropriate, but conflicted. The doctor told him about one other kind of love that he was unaware of. Actually it wasn't really love; it was sexual tension. Tpol, a Vulcan woman, and his science officer was the object of those emotions. He would never act on those feelings because their were rules in place that forbid sexual relations between the two of them. He asked the doctor what to do and he told him that it was enough to be aware of those feelings. He spoke with her in the privacy of his room, about his situation with the aliens. As she left, she acknowledged that it was a good thing that there were rules in place that kept them both safe.

The doctor also helped him to sort out his feelings about Porthos and his responsibility to his crew as a star ship captain. His apology to the aliens required him to go through an elaborate ritual. His reward for doing it well was two extra plasma inductors, for a total of three instead of one.

We have jobs that we love, family that we love, and many of us have pets that we love. We may have friends, and hobbies that we love. Sorting all of that out may be difficult and we may have conflicts to resolve. Sexual tensions are not intentional and they,too, must be resolved. We are human and feeling arise from time to time. The most import thing is to be aware of all of that.

Bear

Triumphs and Tears

Star Atheletes

Tears

Triumphs and Tears

I watched her perform in her pink gymnasts' outfit. She was a young person, just barely an adolescent. I knew that gymnastics takes a great deal of discipline and the goals are precision and perfection. Her routine realized that goal and then she stumbled on her landing, the very last part of her routine. That mistake cost her dearly. She put on a proper face, a winning smile, and yet I knew that she must have been crying on the inside. I wondered how she would handle that later in her private moments. A lot was expected of her and one mistake meant failure.

A female long distance runner had performed poorly at a previous event. The TV announcers predicted that she would not win a medal. She had performed well at other events and she was praised by the press. It seemed that the press and TV media were clear about the fact that no one believed in her anymore. She fell behind during the first part of the race and the TV announcers continued to make negative comments about her performance and they constantly repeated their prediction that she would fail. I wondered what she was thinking and feeling during her race. Did she believe her critics? Had she given up on herself? It all seemed so impossible, and yet I did not give up hope. Gradually she began to catch up and she was very close to the front runners. It was nearly over and then she seemed to fly as her speed increased dramatically. It was nip and tuck as the group neared the finish line and she finished just a few inches ahead of them. She gave more than she had and I saw her on her back gasping for breath. When she received her gold medal, she was barely able to stand. She was not injured and she would recover. She definitely had that something special that few people have and she won the day in a great triumph of will.

Our lives are not so different. Success requires a lot of hard work, perseverance, and discipline. Sometimes one mistake can lead to failure and we must decide if we will move on and get back on track. Some days it seems like no one believes in us and we must believe in ourselves. I wonder how we acquire that something special that few people have, and I know that it makes all of the difference.

Bear

A Windy Day

A Windy Day

There is a place in Seattle, near an old. abandoned steam plant where people gather to fly their kites. Dragon kites, and box kites and many more kinds of kites can be seen soaring in the sky. There are adults, youth and children holding on to kite strings, and wearing smiles. They feel a wonderful freedom as the wind sails their kites across a big blue sky, and some of them soar very high. Sometimes strong winds free the kites from their hands and those kites sail away to distant destinations.

A kite becomes a friend and it's always hard to lose a friend; some times a friend must be set free because we can't control the wind. We blame ourselves and yet it is the wind that chooses to free to kites and friends from us. Eventually they may return. I saw an old man return a kite to a child and watched a child hold her kite gently in her hands. The little girl said to her kite, "Why did you leave me? I love you." Many love songs begin like that. I saw a kite sail in the sky free as a bird and then return to a little boy. He held the kite almost too tight and said, "Welcome back friend." There is a joy that fills our hearts when kites and friends return to us.

Our children can be like kites; they fly higher and higher and one day their strings, their ties with family slip through are hands and they fly way. We pray that the wind will be kind to them and that they will continue to soar beneath the warmth of the sun. They usually return and yet they may feel that they do not need our help to fly. That's what it means to grow up and begin a new life. Our children were born to learn how to fly on their own.

Bear

Dreams and Nightmares

Dreams and Nightmares

There is a line in a Simon and Garfunkle song, "And we've all gone to search for America." In these days of chaos and growing unemployment lines, many of us are asking, "Where have all the jobs gone?" Peter, Paul and Mary sang a a powerful folk song, "Where have all the Flowers Gone." I want to convert the poetic chorus to our situation. "Where have all the workers gone? Gone to unemployment lines every one. Oh, when will we ever work. Oh, when will we ever work? Where have all the jobs gone? Gone to other nation every one? Oh when will we ever learn? Oh when will we ever learn?"

Chaos erupted as quickly as the bullet from a hunter's rifle and the American worker fell in silence without a requiem. While we were sleeping unaware, the American dream became a nightmare. A computer programmer's forty dollar an hour job went overseas to a stranger who does the same job for ten dollars an hour. Microsoft's empire gained more profits when all of their customer service jobs went to India. Verizon sent their customer service jobs to Mexico. Oh so many manufacturing jobs went to China and finally the jobs in the American automobile plants crashed in a car wreck of astronomic proportion. The needs of greed broke our banks and the items at our stock market were all on sale at bargain prices, Retirement plans felt the heat and there were no fans.

Millions of Americans are searching but only a few are finding work because companies are tightening their belts and there are no notches left. The real jobs that Americans had are now only figments of our imagination. The jobs that were promised Americans left without saying good bye. Like the old cowboy ghost towns, American manufacturing cities are filled with empty storefronts, and vacant houses. Factories have become monuments to our nations decline.

Our president, Obama, is working hard to bring order out of Chaos, but he faces a lot of opposition from those who profited from our nation's decline. Yet a ray of hope shines because a growing group of CEO s have discovered that those who benefit from America should contribute to it. We can support our president at the polling places with our votes and we can stand up and speak out for America. I am glad that I voted for Obama because he is a man with a vision for America, a man who may earn a place in history if we give him the support he deserves.

Bear