Rainbow Bars 

Set Me Free

To Leave My 

Prison Cell

My Old Cell 

Held Me  Too Long

But It Was A 

Familiar Place

And Felt Safe

He looked at the sky and only saw clouds

He couldn't see the rainbows

He couldn't feel the warm sun

But every day in his past 

Everything O so good 

was patiently waiting for him

 

So how did he change 

when he was O so blind

He let his heart open wide

and his heart saw everything

Finally his eyes shut O so tight

opened up wide and cooperated

with the positive vision given

of a brand new life for him

Yes, in the end it was his heart

and some one who believed in in HIM

that set him free to live again

And Yes the He was Me

 

Just an Old Photo  

That's me when I was in high school. I was sitting in front of an old piano. I couldn't play well, mostly a few chords. But it brought me words for my angry poetry. Of course some of it was about my hopes and dreams. Some of it reflected the emotions of my depression. Those were the days of my rebellion to every form of authority. I was living in a world of darkness with out any light. But my soul awoke and cried out to God.

I was a young man and wounded. I was filled with pain and anger. My stepfather had killed my mother's spirit and she toolkto many pain pills. I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. My stepfather put me down, but he couldn't kill my spirit. My father had died and I was alone in the world. 

But my debate coach and teacher was an iron woman. She was short but she stood tall , stood up for me. She became my mentor and she saved my life. She motivated me by requiring me to do my best. Soon I became an A student. I feel in love a year later to a red haired girl who knew how to write love poetry.

I left for college and she stayed for her senior year in high school. But when she came to my college our parents broke us up, because she was a catholic and I was a protestant. They threatened to take her out of college. The poetry I wrote about our love's end became a modern dance. My emotions and my experiences were on stage for every to see and the theater was packed and my poetry was given voices and dance moves.

Just an old photos, a vision of me, that takes me back to my old wounds, anger and pain. I can feel all of that when I look at the photo of me.

Curtis

I Found Myself

I found myself in pieces spread over the years of my life

A piece here,  pieces there; there were pieces of me everywhere

It was like a jig saw puzzle with no picture on the top of the box

It was like a nursery rhyme and I was  Humpty Dumpty

I fell down and kept following as if I would never find the ground

Hard as I tried; I couldn't put back together the pieces of me again 

Of course their were memorable moments, events on a timeline

But so much happened between them, even though details were small

I discovered that the smallest pieces were actually the largest of all

Not memorable moments, yet they had more meaning and insight

I discovered that the smallest pieces were the keys for understanding me

The smallest pieces were forgotten for so many good reasons, on purpose

Tears flowed like rain from clouds that floated through my brain

Anger raged like high burning flames, once quiet embers and tamed

Random thoughts and images used my voice to shout and scream

Alas I discover that putting pieces together was a nightmare dream

But calm came after sitting beneath a tree in quiet meditation

Alone in silence, moments  of acceptance, I began becoming me.

 I discovered I was human, imperfect, a human being with many flaws

I began to read the lessons written after failures on the tablet of my heart

The ink in my fountain pen flowed, like crimson water inside my veins

No longer a captive of confusion, reason dealt with emotion, set me free

Gradually the pieces gave me the whole picture, a new image of me

I found myself, my soul and my flesh, and all of everything that was me 

 

What Is This ???

This and that and the others, so many images

Where has my imagination taken me

I ponder things not yet joined in meaning

How do I draw them all together in unity

There are so many different colors and shapes

What are they all trying to tell me about life

That's how everything finds a new beginning

Sort of like choosing members for a team

But all of this is a story is hiding in pieces

Brand new words have been waiting to speak

It seems that they are choosing me freely

They don't hesitate; they want to play today

I see blue rivers, green grass, brown earth

I see a  mufti-colored mountain and pink skies

I see a golden moon surrounded by pink 

I see a patch of gray with a blue-gray face

I see pieces of yellow light here and there

It's a magical word of many shapes and colors

I wonder about the blue-gray face of a person

The eyes, nose, and mouth are silver

But they look odd and in-human, not like us

Perhaps I should name him or her 

Perhaps a Sioux named, Wakanda

It means possesses magical power, a she in Sioux

Her brothers could be Bimisi (slippery)

Chesmu which means gritty

And Demothi (talks while walking)

Her sisters: Ooljee, Shadi and Tolinka

Moon, older sister, and coyotes flapping ear

Those are all Navajo names  for girls or women

Now we have a magical place to begin the story

All of the people have gray faces, girls and boys

I will let them speak and share there life stories

A journey of seven children on an adventure 

They are looking for Matoskah, the white bear

And his brother Wambleeska, the white eagle

O yes, now I know What This Is

A brand new story that's ready to be written

 

Many Pieces One Man

There  are many pieces collected from many places

There are many moments in the mosaic of a life

Some are smooth like glass unbroken

Some have jagged edges with bits of crimson

Some days the mosaic is inside of us

Other days we wear it on our faces

The pieces are all parts of us put together

But we don't know how they are placed

We don't know why they stick to us

Or why we can't run water and wash them off

But we can see the pattern though we can't control it

We don't make those decisions because life does that

But wherever they come from or when we are them

We are the pain and agony that stays and won't go away

We are the laughter that makes our bellies shake again and again

We are the fears and hurts, the doubts and dreams

We are the nightmares that rob us of sleep

But we are also the good days that that make us happy

Some days we look at our portrait in the mosaic of pieces

Some days we weep over what we see and say "That's not me!"

Some days we ask, "Who am I? Who is this man or women?"

Some days we feel O so good about what we see in mosaic

Some days we celebrate the journey that is captured in moments

But in the end we know we are the pieces in the mosaic that man or woman

Safe Harbors

 Safe harbors or great adventures

Is life about taking risks or being safe?

Do we want to change or stay the same?

The truth is that we are forever changing,

The question is "How do we want to change?"

Failure is okay; it gives us lessons to learn.

Failure means we don't have to make the same mistakes.

Failure helps us to find a better way to do something.

Without some failures we wouldn't succeed.

So why are we afraid that we might fail. 

We all live with doubts and fears.

They began in our younger years.

It's like we have been collecting them.

It's like that we can't live without mayhem.

So we just keep hanging on to them.

It's not a secret that we are better than that.

Have we forgotten who we really are?

We all have many gifts and talents.

So why don't we use all of them?

I think we can all believe in ourselves again.

That's worth thinking about often.

Get up and give life a respectable effort.

Don't let your doubts and fears imprison you,

You will set yourself free if you believe in you.

It's time to leave your safe harbor, not soon, NOW

 

 

 

What Is Love?

 

When I saw her something happened

She became my whole world

Nothing else mattered to me 

She was my whole world

She was everything in  my life


Love is not about sex or what a man can get

Love  is about being and kind and meeting her needs

Love is selfless and unselfish and putting her first

That is the love that I have for her, the lasting forever love

That is the best and most intimate love of all and built on trust


Real love has nothing to do with lust, not  about that at all


Real love  doesn't make women sen toys and objects to be used


Real love is not about sex on demand, and she is respected as a woman


Real love is all about the joy of being with her, being close to her


Real love is listening to her, and getting to know all about her




When I kiss her sweet lips, every fiber of my being lights up


When she kisses me my heart beats faster and faster


Her beauty never changes in my eyes, not even after many years


She grows for beautiful every day, and my eyes delight in seeing her


Most of all, real love is forever, and I can't live without her




Real  men believe in real love and are real soul mates