Radical Acceptance

Radical Acceptance

Perhaps one of the most painful things is when a person or persons lie about us/you/me, and there is nothing that us/you/me can do to change that lie. False words are like the glowing red hot branding iron, and they burn their image, brand the flesh, causing a lot of pain. The path to radical acceptance is believing that some good will come out of that, but that isn't always true. Sometimes the liar has personal reasons for lying, an agenda, or a cover up of his/her actions. It works for them and leaves the other person a victim. I have learned that honesty is not the norm for our society. Honesty is often much weaker than the lie. What is a human being without a conscience? What does a life journey mean if it's destination is not honorable and true?
Shalom is the only true answer to that and it offers kindness, gentleness, foegiveness, and grace. That is a path toward radical acceptance that I can walk,

Bear

Three of my acrylic paintings

Three of My Acrylic Paintings

I like to use acrylic paints because they are forgiving (I can easily correct my mistakes) and they offer me many more color choices and lots more space. The last painting is a a copy of one of my ink drawings. I've added a few details and changed a few things.

My wife, Sharon advised me to create original paintings and the first two paintings are originals. In one sense the copies of my ink drawings took more time because my effort was to make an accurate copy. Yet, original drawings can take a lot of time, too, because a new creations require a lot of decisions.

My photographs could be better. I photographed them hanging on my wall and that was difficult. It would have been better if I took them down. I have created twenty nine acrylic paintings and there is only room for twenty seven paintings.

The first of the two left over paintings was inspired by a couple that got a divorce because of infidelity. The images in it connect in a paradox mixing graphic portrayals of pain with serene images of hope. The second painting shows the face of a man in chaos and turmoil. In addition to the man there are three animals; two bears and a tiger. There is also a woman who seems to be at peace amidst the swirling colors of chaos and turmoil.

I almost forgot my first two paintings. One is a scent set in the garden of Eden. There is naked couple and an evil serpent. The second painting shows a human sacrifice by Inca people, high up in their temple. The rest emphasizes the dark reality of it all.

No one knows what to call my art because my paintings and ink drawing are very unusual. I am not sure where they come from. Perhaps my imagination enjoys its work. I hope that you enjoy them.

Bear

Fortresses, Violence, and Tattoos

Fortresses, Violence and Tattoos

Monday C.C. and I went to a parts supply store and I complimented a woman working there on her tattoo. It was a green lizard on her left arm. She said, "I got it a long time ago when I was young. My parents told me that I couldn't have a tattoo, so I went and got one. We talked about her job and we connected briefly as human beings. Moments like these are important to me.

Too often we live inside of our fortresses and our conversation is what the Transactional Analysis people call "Past Times," words that are safe and not connected to any information about us. They argue that we talk about sports and other stuff for that reason. I find that many people are hungry to say something real, even if it's only a few words.

I am curious about what we call entertainment. The crime shows on TV show explicit violence in crimson detail. Violence does not connect people in a positive way. The news stations give a lot of attention to violence. News is often called info-entertainment. Again, I can not understand how acts of violence can be called entertainment. Yet magazines, newspapers, and TV news shows seem to disagree with my position.

Years ago a number of people watched the brutal murder of a woman and did nothing. That event made the news. The conclusion reached by the experts was that all of the violence on TV has made us numb to real violence.

I remember small country towns where people sat in front of rural post offices or in small cafes. They talked about life in the country, their kids, and other real stuff. In those communities, people knew their neighbors and connected with them in positive ways.

I grew up in a neighborhood like that, and perhaps that's why I never meet a stranger. You know that famous line, "A stranger is just a friend that I meet for the first time." That can be dangerous, but it can also be wonderful.

Bear

Some Days the Dragon Wins

Some Days the Dragon Wins

We can do our very best with our relationships with people and something can happen that has a negative effect on them. The other person may cut us off and leave us wondering what happened. The problem is that we don't know what happened. We may reach out in love and still receive no response from that person. At some point we have to radically accept that there is nothing that we can do.

There are other dragon days. We may try very hard and get a job interview after a lot of rejections. We did our best in the interview and we left hopeful. Later we receive an email or letter that lets us know that we didn't get the job. Looking for work these days seems to be a long and winding road with few stops for interviews. Men derive a good part of their self esteem from having a job and doing well. What happens to them when they are jobless? What keeps them going day after day?
Perhaps it is just a small ember burning in their heats and they must blow on the coal in their hearts by making the best effort they can to find a job. Perhaps they must lower their expectations.

A few negative responses from a significant person in our lives. well intentioned,
may be very painful, especially if we haven't received many positive responses from others. They say that it takes ten positive responses to balance one negative response. I try to find good reasons to give others positive responses, and some times they are store clerks or strangers.. I know that people receive too many negative responses and on those days the Dragon wins.

Perhaps the metaphor serves us well. It seems to me that we need more dragon hunters, and less dragon days.

Bear

Friends

Drawing at the top
"The Cat's Outside"
Drawing at the bottom

"Three Friends and One More."

If you look at the drawing , "Three Friends and One More," you may miss the little guy or assume that he is the girl's doll. A group of friends seems to be like that; one friend doesn't get noticed, or doesn't see, to stand out.

I am not sure that the phrase, "Birds of a feather flock together," is true. Oh sure, sometimes they dress alike, and they may speak the same lingo, but don't be fooled; they are different in many ways; they only pretend to be the same.

It is true that they may share some of the same values, or hairdo's, or visual cues to prove that they are the same, but different than others. Trust me, within our hidden selves may be our "good riddins selves," , stuff that may awaken friends from their intellectual slumber enough for a, "Hey, you are different from me. Can I live with that." What's happened to viva la difference?" Nothing, except boys finally figure out why girls want the seat left down, and ; "Does that have anything to no with sex?

I am wondering if we just pretend not to see or hear any differences because we need friends. You will notice the drawing on the top is ,"The cat's outside of the house," and then you notice the little mouse. We may use the phrase, "The cat's out of the bag." I trust that you don't keep your cat in a bag, though on occasion your cat may explore a bag because cats are continually curious. Literally the phrase means that the cat is out exploring something else, a box, or some tiny insect traveling through our house. We don't keep our secrets in bags on four by six inch note cards, though that would save a lot of time. Our friends could draw a note card from our bag and we would be the topic for discussion. I actually don't have any secrets, except for a few very boring secrets like, I can't do Trig, Geometry, or Calculus.

I believe I'll end this blog with a phrase now repeated. which I have dissected from an embarrassing moment in puberty, "VIVA LA DIFFERENCE!" By the way, It's no secret that puberty is embarrassing.

Bear

Family Is Forever

Family Is Forever

A family observes painful things and celebrates events with great joy. The divorce of a family member and whatever reasons that surface may feel like sandpaper on an old wound. Grace and forgiveness and love become the healing balm that is required. I find that those gifts of God carry more wisdom than hours of family discussions. Family is forever and all families, at some point in time, need healing. I focus on the healing because family is very important to me.

The marriage of two of my three sons and my daughter were times of joy-filled celebrations. Each of them found a very special person and we are all blessed because we have three new members in our family. Change is good but the transitions sometimes require time and love. We are not perfect; I have more than a few flaws, but we love each other and family is very important to us.

The birth of a child, a niece or nephew for some and a grandchild for others is a time for joy and celebration. A new life brings new life to the family. Families grow and new generations emerge.

Families face conflicts from time to time and some of them are not easy to resolve. At times like that I wish I had more wisdom and I turn to God in prayer. Family members don't need to agree on everything to love and accept each other. Our understanding of God and how to make our spiritual journeys may be different. Sometimes that may cause some family members to feel rejected or judged. Shalom asks us to radically accept each other for who we are and to let God's love be the foundation of our relationships.

Family relationships need not be patronizing. We must learn to love each other in honesty so that we can have authentic relationships. That may test the ties that bind us, but it is necessary for healthy relationships. Loving each other in honesty requires grace and the freedom to know each other fully. Shalom tell us to reassure each other with the words, "You can trust me to love and accept you when you share our differences because I will always love you and I will never abandon you.

Bear

Just Art, My Art

Some of My Ink Drawings

These are some of my ink drawings. I hope that you enjoy them.

Bear