All Things Are Possible

2011-11-28T14:04:00.001-08:00

Rhino Guys

I wonder/ what if Rhino guys/ decided to meet us/ to come and greet us/ if they were well dressed for Rhino guys/ what would you do to them/ would you say/ there is no room for gray noses/ do you suppose this/ and not let them in/ to your particular group of friends/ do you suppose this/ would you treat Rhino guys/ as another group of men/ that meet the guidelines for your prejudice/ that they are lesser men/ than the rest of us/ do you suppose this/ that they wouldn't be allowed in your restaurants/ do you suppose this/ that there would be a second men's room/ a different bathroom/ that they had to use/ do you suppose this/ that you would say that they are less intelligent/ and that you wouldn't let your daughters go out with them/ I wonder what the Rhino guys would think of us/ if you made such a fuss

2011-11-28T13:46:00.001-08:00

How Do Others See Us

I thought about the fact/ that people see us in many different ways/ that even our faces are changed/ when they are seen through different eyes

I paused to ponder whether people really know us at all/ if we are all like the pieces in a jig saw puzzle and no on has time/ to put them together

I can only imagine what others see/ what thoughts they have when they think of me/ and yet I know/ that no matter what they see/ I will always be me

2011-11-28T12:53:00.001-08:00

Found and Lost

There are many distractions that become attractions

There are may obsessions that take us in new directions

There are days when our anger puts us in the danger

When we say to ourselves, I have nothing to lose

The price that we may have to pay can be very high

But for some reason. or lack of thinking we do it anyway

When the human heart grows cold

When our anger gets hotter

We are headed for disaster

Like a moth to a flame faster and faster

We may burn our wings in fires of darkness

We may decide that dying is irresistible

Our worst enemy may finally be us, ourselves

There is a battle inside of us and it is raging

Every day we have so much pain to maintain

We may cut ourselves to deal with it again and again

We may take dangerous drugs to dull all of it

But none of it works for very long, something's wrong

Gradually out of great distress we are killing ourselves

Little by little we plunge deeper and deeper into depression

We don't try to break the chain that hold us prisoner

We don't let go of all of our pain, anger, doubt and fear

Pain and death have become an obsession

Pain and death whip us and beat us with depression

But I have found that none of us need to be lost

That no though, idea or emotion has to be our boss

Inside of every human being are the seeds of freedom

All we have to do is to nurture, feed and grow them

It is true that healing is hard and takes a lot of time

Never give up, never quit, press on, you can heal

REMEMBER YOU WERE BORN TO BE YOU

2011-11-27T15:03:00.001-08:00

Where Are We Going

There are many images that crawl into our minds
Some of them are beautiful, gentle and O so kind
But others are ugly and horrific and O so evil
Some of them make us wonder if there is a Devil
Some people like to dance with scary things
Some people are frightened by nightmare dreams

Some people don't consider hell but live there
Everyday for them is empty and void of pleasure
Some people carry a heavy load of so much pain
Some people hurt so much every hour of the day
They may feel trapped in a spider's web with no escape
They are drowning in a sea of horrible heart ache

But in the end we all become all of our choices
We create our circumstances with different voices
What some may see as very bad is good for others
Some people are so confused, don't know what to choose
Some people sing happy songs. while others sing the blues
We have all learned that what we choose is life or death for me and you

The question always is ; Where are you going
What seeds have you planted; how are you growing
Do you contemplate your action , or just do things
Do you rebel against every form of authority to be free
Have you chosen just to get by, or embraced your destiny
Is your life heaven on earth or is it horrific hell

Only your choices and time will tell

2011-11-27T14:58:00.000-08:00

2011-10-01T00:40:00.001-07:00

A Poem For My Friend Grace

Curtis H. Stamey

Days and nights pass like rippling ocean waves/ touching the shore and retreating/ like heartbeats/ with a simple rhythm/ finding movements and capturing them and then setting them free to return in memories/ time chooses its pace/ sometimes proceeding and almost speeding/ sometimes slow and lazy/ relaxing in needed sleep till morning/ much is happening and giving life meaning/ even though where we are going is often a mystery/ each step we take forward requires courage and faith/ for we still deal with remnants of pain/ like curtains on a window pane/ sometimes pain keeps sunlight from coming inside of us/ some times remnants of pain don't bother us/ hope brings new imaginings/ hope gives us new wings/ and we learn to fly and ride the thermals/ but there are days we are grounded/ can't fly because of a broken wing/ that needs gentle healing/ a time of peace and resting/ but who we truly are we are becoming/ because we allow ourselves to be free/ and sing our new songs joyfully/ we find our path and e don't give up on our journey/ perhaps this is you and me/ two best friends/ who are sharing/ who are kind and gentle/ and caring

Wisdom

2011-06-21T18:09:00.000-07:00

Wisdom

In the race of our obsessions seeking money, sex, and possessions
There is little time for wisdom or finding the right questions
Moments of temporary satisfaction flow from all the action
Succumbing to attractions and following all of the new fashions
We are hungry and always empty even though some things are filling

In a marginal moment of reflection we may bump into wisdom
And finally ask the questions WHO AM I? WHAT DO I WANT TO BE?
Even though our world has blinded us wisdom helps us see
Beyond big deals and one night stands, beyond sex without love
And money without meaning, except to BUY BUY BUY AND BUY MORE.

Wisdom's path is at a slower pace, not a competitive race
Wisdom is our humanity with an honest human face
Wisdom is the heart of everything real love means
Wisdom is the act of once again becoming human beings
We learn to care about others and how to be sisters and brothers

We learn to find life's greatest joy in living for others
When we freely give to others we finally find true treasure
We discontinue being the living dead and find our heats again
We live in relationships that are really real
We connect with others and our emotions are much more real

Every day we must decide whether we are living or dead inside.
Accept no imitations, being truly alive has no limitations.
Set yourself free to be, and to live your destiny
You don't have to follow the herd and strive to fit in.
You are free to be you, you are free to live and choose again.

A Game of Cat and Mouse

2011-04-26T23:04:00.000-07:00

A Game of Cat and Mouse

The mouse wore a gentle brown coat and wiggled its pink nose
It was relaxed eating some seeds and a few pieces of cheese
Over all it had been a very good day and the mouse was pleased
Time to go home to its wife and children and watch some TV

The Cat had very sharp claws much like the blades of a knife
There was no scarcity of victims on that dark and rainy night
There were so many on their way to catch subway home
The real trick was to watch the way they walked and look for fear

The cat stood in the mouse's way and the mouse couldn't miss his train
The cat made it all very plain and asked for his cash and credit cards
The cat made it clear that killing the mouse was the only other answer
The cat wasn't willing to wait very long and the knife blade moved closer

The mouse didn't cower/ tremble or shake/ and stood up on its tiny feet
The mouse was tired and testy/ ornery and angry/ after working all week
The mouse decided that he wouldn't retreat/ that he would simply say no
The mouse opened his mouth and bared all of his tiny teeth/ shiny white

The cat saw a better victim/ timid and terrified/ and tried to let the mouse pass by
The cat saw the mouse stand with it's next victim/ and other mice joined them
The cat suddenly saw so many of them/ and panic began to fill all of him
The game of cat and mouse had changed/ and the cat could be their victim

Soon the cat was gone/ and it was clear/ that one mouse's courage saved all of them

This Old House

2011-04-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

This Old House

This Old house was torn down after selling for a lot of money
It's window eyes and wooden body broken and torn
Like the years of pain and suffering that it held for his mom and her son Billy
Caterpillars/ large John Deere bulldozers/ turned it into rubble
Making room for a brand new house/ after destroying flower gardens
After destroying their bedrooms/ their kitchen/ their living room

A long rectangular deck/ where Billy sat and smoked many pipes
High about the ground/ where they sat and battled/ with his wounded heart
Their memories gathered together/ nightmares/ and waking terrors
The very place where Step Dad strangled a mother's heart/ and spirit
A murderous daily assault of ugly domineering words sucking out the life in her
When Billy fought back/ fought for her life/ his mother cried/ claiming he hurt her

This old house is gone forever and forever/ Step Dad and Billy's mother dead and buried
Why does he still store those memories and all of that pain
Does Billy have to destroy this old house AGAIN AND AGAIN/ AND YES AGAIN
This old house/ a house of pain/ a house of no longer standing. and no longer seen
It was here that his mother's spirit was murdered by Step Dad/ her very self destroyed
And she had nothing left of the bright/ creative loving lady that came to live there

Four members of the family/ Step Dads three and the other sister Suzy each got lots of money
Leaving nothing for his sister Sarah Lee and Billy and his mom lost her forever
Highway robbery engineered by my stepbrother Adolph a greedy thief/ the others silent
Yes/ and none of the four/ would allow his stepfather to change the will/ too much to lose
Cold cash and more wealth/ justified/ once again his mother was a victim/ tortured/ afraid
The prize of each of the four's greed/ his mothers tears and sorrow/ in the last of her days

This old house/ and finally he forgave the greedy four/ the materialistic money whores
This old house/ and finally he forgave/ his step dad/ for ruining his mom's life
This old house/ and finally he forgave/ his step dad/ for shredding his self esteem
This old house/ and he loved them them/ even when they were lying and scheming
This old house in his long nights of nightmares constantly dreaming so painfully
This old house/ this old family/ was never what it should be/ even until it's ending

Inner Child Park

2011-04-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

Inner Child Park

My art/ that accompanies my poetry/ is like a window/ It shows what is inside/ my poems
Some feel that adults playfully enjoying/ moments from their childhood/ are very immature
Scientific data has discovered and determined that that kind of play helps to solve real problems
While that's all good/ enough to affirm and give permission/ to those who need that sort of thing
While we move through developmental stages/ and give away our toys to our children ad Grandchildren
Each and every one of us still has an inner child within us/ and our inner child really loves to play

For our information/ they still sell marbles/ dolls/ plastic soldiers/ Knights and dragons and other stuff
They still build play grounds with swings and tall slides/ and the big round thing that goes around fast
They still have soccer fields, baseball diamonds/ sandy beaches with sea shells and tiny crabs
They make a wide variety of kites in an uncountable number of sizes shapes and colors
They still have plastic model kits of cars/ trucks/ sailing ships/ jets/ tanks/ knights/ horses/ and dragons.
They still make finger paints/ color crayons/ colored pens/ and thousands of craft projects.

Why the lists/ why so many things/ and places/ and still more and more and yes so much more
None of them are plugged in to an electronic medium but each/ every/ and all of them lots of fun
What do they do for us/ they activate or imaginations/ while growing our skills and patience
They are not money making projects/ they have no stressful deadlines/ no pushy get it done bosses
They day are after day things we can do to unwind and relax us/ and joy in the doing/ always present
Each of us may have a different kind of inner park place/ ours to choose/ and enjoy every day

Unplugged

2011-04-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

Unplugged

Some days we're plugged into a media that moves faster and faster
Marshal McCluhan wrote in the sixties that the medium is the massage
Speeding from moment to moment in limited space titillating our senses
Overwhelmed by O so much information that that quadruples so quickly
At some point our minds and our emotions give in to a Quantitative chaos
Once masters of images and words and contents /we give in to the medium

The medium is seductive/ an ever present rush and high/ ever so exciting
Reluctant at first/ wanting to embrace the medium's marvelous massage
I finally woke up knowing what I also knew/ an Internet train wreck was waiting
I decided that I needed/ to make a conclusion/ and end the intrusion
I chose to end the confusion/ like ordering a smaller plate/ fewer bytes
I did something physically/ I unplugged the medium/ and took back my life

Something Inside

2011-04-12T12:47:00.000-07:00

Something Inside

Some days are truly inside out
Our skin is painted with our emotions
It may be an inconvenient place to show our feelings
No matter how hard we try to hide them/ they show
People can see them/ O so clearly/ and there's nothing we can do
We are caught in vulnerability/ and everything is absolutely revealed

We hear the phrases/ you look/ you feel/ you are
We simply can not argue with others point of view
No matter what we say/ no matter if try to explain/ we know they are right
Well then/ why do we have to cover up/ who and where we are/ at that time
Why can't we just be ourselves/ I mean after all/ aren't we ourselves
Is it just for others/ to judge us in these moments

You have heard the phrase/ "When pigs fly!"
Well? on days like this/ they really do
It doesn't do any good/ to take off our ties and mope
Or to ask others to bring us a rope so we can hang ourselves
Nope/ on these days/ we are simply/ and plainly/ inside out
On these days/ our insides/ paint our outsides/ with emotions from within.

Peace Like A River

2011-04-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

Peace Like a River

A quiet place/ gently flowing water/ a refuge from life's storms
I shed the ashes/ of a molten day/ and calmly cleanse my soul
A pine tree/ green/ sweet pure scent/ a still place to rest
No phones ringing on and on so endlessly/ no dirge of voices
Not one question in an emergency/ demanding me/ to make choices
Freedom of being/ new life flowing/ and peace embraces me

Cell phone/ left in the car/ work clothes traded for a t-shirt and jeans
Mind emptied of civilization/ and foolish things/ embraces new dreams
No need here to define things/ no artificial realities/ just a gentle breeze
A doe and her fawn stop and look at me/ river fish rise playfully
Here no need for books to read/ or pens to write/ nature speaks to my heart
Here the pure breath of life/ untarnished by humans/ gently fills my lungs

Moment painted gently/ on the canvas of my mind/ O so effortlessly
Beautifully embraced/ by new steps/ on my path/ a healing journey
No expectations/ no list of my wants and my needs/ sweet serenity
Here time has no place/ no schedules and priorities/ here/ just me
Patiently without concern/ wisdom enters my living soul/ a natural renewal
These moments will be kept in memories/ become a peaceful refuge in my mind

Two Beautys

2011-04-11T00:08:00.000-07:00

Two Beautys

Just imagine one day we will be visiting different worlds
Let's call the new people we will meet Beautys
Yes I know how to spell Beauties
But Beautys gives us a new perspective on Beauty
Hopefully it makes you stop and ask important questions.
What is beauty/ is it just what you prefer to look at

The Beautys are going to look at us and what will they see
What will be their perspective of you and us and everything
Will they look at us long enough and deep enough
Will they see into our hearts and feelings and thoughts
Will we be scary/ will we be ugly/ what they prefer not to see
They may see hearts and thoughts and feelings in beautiful colors

They may feel that seeing beings on the outside is a primitive process
In fact they may see our vision as distasteful and very disgraceful
They may reason that what is on the outside of beings is not real
That what is truly beautiful about beings is found on the inside
That what we are is not on the outside/ just a mask to hide behind
True beauty for them maybe/ thoughts/ words/ actions and feelings

Beautys may find what is beautiful in memories/ diaries/ and in our dreams
Beauty's may want to listen to our stories/ our poetry/ our music and our singing
Beautys may want to hear about how we treat others/ and what our love means
Beautys may want to know if we are angry or violent or walk together in peace
Beautys may want to know if we share everything/ or some have more and others less
Beautys may want to know if we help others/ or just don't care/ just aren't concerned

Beautys may want to know why we kill others/ why millions have died in wars
Beauty's may see that we let many starve/ many be homeless/ and not help the helpless
Beautys may not understand why we desire to have more or most of the wealth
Beauty's may not understand why some are rich and so very many of us are poor
Beautys may see the violence in our homes/ in our schools and in our streets
Beauty's may discover that we aren't able to love each other and live in peace

What will Beautys decide about all of us when some of us come and visit them
What if all that we are in every way is O so very very different than how they live
What if Beautys confront our weapons of mass destruction and are weapons for war
What if Beautys can't understand why we spend so much so that we can kill each other
What if wonder why our military has to me are number one priority to keep us safe
What if Beautys believe that the answers is to take care of every persons needs

Sweet Solitude Sam

2011-04-10T20:37:00.000-07:00

Sweet Solitude Sam

He's not afraid of silence
He's never prone to violence
When he is in need of wisdom
Sweet Sam empties himself
Sits in the solitude of silence
Waits patiently for wisdom

I assure you the wisdom comes
His heart and mind make room for God
Nothing else enters his mind or heart
No other desire/ need/ or passion
Never/ no not ever in any form or fashion
Nothing/ no not anything/ is a distraction

It is oddly true/ this is something
Many and most others never do
They are O so busy/ don't have time
Awed by their importance/ endless projects
Own all of their attention/ every moment
Not knowing what's missing/ O so blind

I often wonder what directs them
What unseen motives affect men
Keep them from their wives and children
Break all of their promises freely given
What old age finally gets/ only many regrets
Piles and heaps/ of might have beens/ lie behind those men

God bless Solitude Sam
We need more like him
We Need God's Wisdom

Rose Colored Glasses

2011-04-09T16:21:00.000-07:00

Rose Colored Glasses

I have a PhD and a six figure salary
I belong to the RICH party
It's not my fault that so many are hungry/ homeless/ and poor
It has been proven/ that any one/ can be rich
We are the land of opportunity and the American DREAM

I say/ don't have children/ if you can't afford them
I say/ get off the dole/ and start working for a living
I say/ be healthy/ and don't ask for free insurance
I say/ learn to live/ with what you make/ and be grateful
What you have and get in this world is up to you

You say/ I am greedy and I don't care
You say/ the rich have 95 percent of the wealth
You say/ the everyone deserves a college education
You say/ America should help the old/ the poor/ and helpless
You insist that all of the rich/ should pay higher taxes

My world is wonderful/ I have all that I want and need
There is a point to being rich/ I have a lot more than you
I mean/ isn't it plain to see/ your poverty/ means more for me
I am a powerful player and I like things the way they are
Is it my fault that you are dumb enough to vote with me

You know/ I love what has happened to democracy
I am so damn clever/ and you are too blind to see
If you voted for your interests/ it would be the end of me
I would be FORCED to SHARE what our country has given me
Okay/ I would still have a lot/ and your life would be better

Look/ I don't want even a little less/ you see I need more
I live in a beautiful world wearing rose colored glasses
I am the end product of the great AMERICAN DREAM
I am the man that none of you will ever, never be
I say/ God bless America/ and O yes/ keep blessing me

Your Electric Lady

2011-04-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

Your Electric lady

I am your electric lady
You've wired all of me
I am your electric wheel chair racer
I am your every heart beat pacer
I am your puzzle of 500 pills

But I'll be 100 tomorrow
Put away in a nursing home
Where its illegal to light candles
You make a cardiac case against ice cream
You keep me alive with all your machines

My hall smells like urine
So you seldom visit me
I wear diapers
That are not changed regularly
My food is bland and tasteless

To put it all bluntly
I don't care about healthy
Why are you saving me
Let me die quietly
And enter a better world

Found and Lost

2011-04-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

Found and Lost

I found my self and lost my soul
Death metal music death is cold
I am the damn break every rule boy
I am the punk rocky patriot of darkness
I am the most unreachable and unteachable

I am the anarchist against every uniting force
I am the devils messenger riding a black horse
I am the fallen angel of evil willing to kill you
I am the anger born in sexual and physical abuse
I am the wicked designer of revenge I'll take on you

I am the boy you dread and fear
I am going out with your innocent dear
I know every way to stain her and spoil her
Her yes says she wants me/ and she will hate you
Fear me/ I will teach her anger/ and addict her to drugs

Aren't you proud that you created me
A monster of antiquity/ smiling while sinning
I am the very end of all of your hopeful beginnings
Don't ever/ never label me/ you raped and beat me
I am your devil child/ but don't forget/ you created me

I didn't last long/ everything of me cut quickly and short
Depression took me/ shook me so hard/ and so deadly
Depression got a hold on me/ played with my emotions darkly
Finally death was the only image that my hollow eyes could see
Red ripe blood flowing from my wrists/ until the last drop left

DEATH/ Yes DEATH/

Playful Imaginary Friends

2011-04-09T14:37:00.000-07:00

Playful Imaginary Friends

Come on lazy bones get up and out of bed
Feeling the sting of endless rejection
He wanted to sleep all day long and longer
No/ none of the kids will ever play with me
Ah/ we are here/ playful/ imaginary friends

An adventure began with back yard games
Silver suited knights to rescue damsels
High flying dragons with fiery hot flames
A broom stick his horse with a white mane
Charging with wooden sword again and again

A curley headed girl in a t-shirt and jeans
Watched from a distance with admiration
Thinking thoughtfully/ my knight in shining armor
But so unlike the other three she wasn't imaginary
She was real/ a damsel with rosy red girl cheeks.

He caught her out of the corner of his left eye
He had never met such a maiden/ so real and alive
Hey/ he said/ would you like to meet/ my imaginary friends
Yes/ said she/ I see every one of them/ I am also their friend
Wait now/ he said/ how can that be/ each and every one/ belongs to me

They belong to a world created by children/ and they live there with others
You opened the door with your imagination/ and I was already there
I have friends there,too, and they long to meet all four of you/ playful. too
Okay/ then tell me/ have you ever rode a dragon/ silver scale in sky
O course I have/ they taught me to fly/ and I gave them all names

But you say that they are real/ our imaginary friends/ do you think I'm crazy
Don't know about that/ but this morning you were lazy/ and so I sent them
You mean that you got me out of bed/ sleeping off the sting of rejection
Well I mean/ one true friend/ is worth far more/ than that herd of idiots
You mean that I am intelligent/ isn't thank a dumb thing to say about me

Well/ I could say I love you/ here we are and sixteen/ playing games again
I guess I look kind of silly riding my mothers best broom/ and charging around
My daddy has horses/ and collect old suits of armor and the swords are so sharp
Today/ after watching you/ my Knight in Armor/ for O so many days/ I decided
What did you decide today/ do you want me to charge and rescue you

Look at me closely/ I am not a little girl/ I have firm full breasts/ I am a real women
I have long Raven black hair/ and luscious red lips/ and I am stealing a kiss
O dear me/ dear me/ he said/ that was really real/ something is happening to me
Yes/ and I will kiss you again and many times more/ get ready for so much more
O dear me/ O dear me/ what's to become of me/ what more will you do to me

I will make a man of you/ in every way a woman can do/ my Knight shining bright
I will take you to new places every day/ none of them/ are imaginary in any way
Where are my imaginary friends/ I can't see any of them/ none of them anymore
O dear me/ O dear dear me/ O what is happening to me/I am only sixteen
All you are/ and all you can be/ now is desiring me/ I'll lead you gently/ don't worry

I didn't tell you/ she was the most beautiful in the Our Town High School
Every young woman and young man/ in the whole herd/ would be his friend
But he and she rejected them/ that stung them often and again and again
I didn't tell you that she and he/ were voted the king and queen at every prom
Now what love led them to/ is a never mind/ yet O so full of passion and delight

Four Fellows and Friends

2011-04-07T16:50:00.000-07:00

Four Fellows and Friends

We began by thinking that friendships last forever
We never expected that they would gather dust
We never ever thought that we'd lose touch
We shared often and then gradually much less
One day I wondered what had happened to us

Four fellows my groomsmen and best man
Exist now in wedding pictures and memories
One actually visited me with his new wife
We talked together about detail of our lives
So far we haven't seen each other again

From my years in high school
From my days in college
A collection of different guys
Each unique in his own way
Shadows of our yesterdays

Where are they now and older
Will I see them again four fellows
Will life be kind and find a meeting place
A time when we can reminisce
And how do we understand any of this

Growing Old with His Love

2011-04-07T16:18:00.000-07:00

Growing Old with His Love

How can we enhance everything about us that has changed
Like flowers cut and in vases our faces wilt in all of the places
Yet when I see my lady with love's eyes/ she is so beautiful
More beautiful each and every day/ our endings waiting
I am busy celebrating every inch of her fully revealed

She sees me/ her handsome man/ she sweetly calls me
Mother of our four children/ miracles each of them
All grown up and gone away/ except on visiting days
We enjoy our empty nest/ closely savoring each caress
Desiring close encounters nightly in each others arms

A heart attack and she was every so close to her death
My lady/ my love/ my soulmate/ my every breath
God gave her back to me again/ after healing her heart
After my soul wept endlessly on dark and darker nights
Growing old together these things happen and change our lives

Yet we look into each others eyes/ agree these days are the best of our lives
Rituals of togetherness continue to create loving bonds as our hearts respond
We are growing old together and we don't know what's in our future
So we taste the goodness of our togetherness like wonderful fine wines
We freely make each of the moments given to us the best of our lives

Sea Bird

2011-04-07T15:50:00.000-07:00

Sea Bird

His life was a stormy sea/ a difficult journey
Strong dark gray winds/ always his enemy
Yes the wind has many colors/ gray meant death
But he at the wheel/ with his Sea Bird sail
A survivor of the terror/ of high green pounding waves

A skilled sailor in yellow slickers/ and unyielding
Soggy wet mustache/ beard/ and hair/ all very gray
Bent briar smoking pipe/ clenched burning bright
A dogged determination/ engaged in an awful fight
Stubbornly and steadily/ refusing to give up his life

The wind howled so loud and louder/ like a spoiled child
The wind commanded him to give up/ and to bow down
His heart like his briar pipe warm/ and refusing to go out
The bow of his little ship pounding against waves/ and very brave
Again and again rising up so very high/ with a thunderous cry

Then his hope born again in morning/ filled with blue sky
The gray ghost of the wind so angry/ finally gave in to sunlight
Poseidon the king of the sea had watched the man's bravery
Finally he found the gray death winds and silenced them
Both with briar pipes the two good friends/smoked together again

Starry Night

2011-04-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

Starry Night

In the illusion of evening she saw nothing
Her eyes set on so many stars shining
Her heart ever so patient was waiting
Not an ordinary lady a glittering sex Queen

Car stopped filled with fresh green cash
A Friday night hunter and her street corner
She collected her cold cash price for paradise
He paid for the full meal sexual deal that night

But the night turned sour every moment of the hour
After devouring her body completely there was more
A Friday night serial killer looking for a new thriller
She screamed as his knife drew closer and closer to her.

Her body dead blood read and lifeless now in a dumpster
Another painted lady starry eyed next night took her corner
There were some who warned her about the serial killer
But her profession had become the reality of her sad life

High Noon

2011-04-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

High Noon

Little boy with chrome plated white handled cap guns
Two holsters black leather steel studded on his hips
Put a roll of caps in each silver six gun ready for high noon

Little girl loved him wore a doeskin outfit with fringe on her arms and legs
An eagle feather in her read head of hair with a pink ribbon to hold it
Bright colored war paint on her face and moccasins on her feet with fringe

Every day in their childhood not yet imprisoned in orderly school classrooms
They played together all day the boy and girl thing didn't get in their way
It wasn't yet time for aspects of anatomy to make a difference in their friendship

Ever so young and innocent they were free to play unencumbered and truly free
Their very active imaginations created their exciting adventures and high noons
He a master of his quick draw six guns she an expert with her rubber tipped arrows

Then one day he stood amazed when he first saw her wearing a very pretty dress
Beneath the cloth two things o so strange though not huge yet surely they were breasts
It was then they drew a heart on the elm tree bark with their initials and the word love

All of this was such a mystery to both of them and they started acting differently
But neither of them were sure about what they should do other than holding hands
One day they saw two older kids kiss and they spit our their gum and their lips met

It seemed to be very sloppy to them and o so wet but they didn't move their lips
That was a new discovery for them several years later sort of a kind of high noon
By then they had feelings that often embarrassed them that they couldn't control

Finally the day of their first prom arrived and they didn't know how to dance together
They wandered around together a proper space apart hold hands all over the gym floor
A grumpy old woman with gray hair made sure that they didn't do anything that was sexual

They studied together at the library and in each others homes every day for many hours
Their parents and teachers had no reason to complain because both of them earned A's
It was being together talking and laughing two happy people enjoying sharing that pleased them

Everything had grown larger height his muscles and her breasts and feelings of true love
They began to think about the meaning of their differences and what they should do with them
Their new truth was that they were tempted to have sex he tall and handsome she so pretty

Their senior year ended and they graduated together earned the highest honors given
Their summer together they learned that their life together wood end very soon so sad
They ran through fields of meadow grass barefoot flew kites in the wind having fun again

Their last weekend together they camped on the beach cooking hot dogs and drinking sodas
They swam in the ocean beneath mellow moonlight o so playful in their birth day suits
They dried each other off held hands and kissed and shared their hopes and dreams

Whatever happened on two moonlit nights four years later the two of them married
Friends forever and still so much to discover through good days and through bad days
The story can not be completed they are still enjoying writing each and every page of it

The Button Lady

2011-04-04T14:23:00.000-07:00

The Button Lady

She is a true lady
with strength and dignity
she carries herself humbly
yet she is far wiser than many

It is true in younger years
men used her and abused her
she was then powerless
to mount her own defense

As she aged in years
she grew so much stronger
refuse to take it any longer
much more powerful and harder

She now stands up to men
firmly says no to them
won't ever be hurt again
yet now can trust new friends

She is a truly lady
a teacher helping many
my friend a true treasure
with value beyond measure

2011-03-27T02:32:00.000-07:00

Sally Centerfold

He was not/ in high school/ any more/ and he had/ no bevy/ of beauties
He had a wife/ and children/ and he had promised/ to love them/
But there she was/ on the table/ in the local barber shop/ a place called/ Pop's
It was a busy shop/ and he always had time/ for his favorite magazine/ not Time
In the center of the pages/ was the very place/ where passion rages
Sally Centerfold/ was there to say/ "You're not too old/ too gray/ to play"

At first/ it was just daydreams/ and nigh time fantasies
After all/ men were men/ and in his private place/ he could do as he pleased
After all/ it was his brain/ and his Sally Centerfold/ was there to entertain
After awhile/ he began to see/ Sally Centerfold/ almost everywhere
He saw her at Surplus Foods/ he saw her at Macy's/ buying new shoes
He saw her/ at the diner/ where he had lunch/ eating the same foods

Tim always went/ and worked out/ with Jim/ and now he saw her/ again
They were both on treadmills/ and he grinned/ because she was/ next to him
She turned toward him/ and smiled/ and his heartbeat/ went wild
Time was up/ the machines stopped/ and he thought/ "What am I to do"
She began to talk to him/ she was Nancy/ fancy Nancy/ and he was Tim
"I'm fifty," / he said/ "And I am twenty two" adding/ "I really like you"

"I am twice your age," / Tim said/ "I could be your father/ don't bother"
"You are tall and handsome," / she said/ "I'm not your daughter/ not her"
"Then what/ tell me what you are"/ "I am your lover/ your bedroom star"
"You are very bold/ and blunt" / Tim said /"Yes/ today women/ are up front"
She drew closer to him/ "Tim/ the least you could do/ is buy me lunch
I've seen you/ at the diner" / she cooed/ "I like what I see/ and I'm in the mood"

"It's been a long time/ since I have been/ with a beauty/ like you" / Tim replied.
"I've been married/ my sweet/ to my lovely bride/ long before/ you were alive"
"Yes/ Tim/ but no one will get hurt/ she is the main course/ and I'm dessert"
"To tell you the truth/ Nancy/ I've been dreaming for days/ about this"
'Well then/ maybe it's time/ for our first kiss/ I'm all yours/ you know"
"My day dreams/ have got to go/ my very first kiss/ was a long time ago"

"Sweet sentiment/ from a man/ who loves/ his children/ and his wife"
"Yes/ I'm not young anymore/ but I love them/ more than life"
"I understand/ Tim/ and it's okay/ I hope/ I meet a man/ like you/ some day
A man who will/ never be/ any woman's/ one night stand/ that kind of man"
"Well/ you can't find him like this/ a kiss from your lips/ is not just a kiss"
"Well I guess I can try/ but let me tell you/ it's not easy to find/ your kind of guy"

2011-03-27T01:59:00.000-07:00

Too Many Two Faces

Do we all wear/ too many faces/ to stay/ in others' good graces
Do we all want/ so much/ to fit in/ and have many friends
Are we willing to do anything/ say anything/ be anything/ for anyone
Woe is us/ a person for people/ hiding behind/ so many masks
And if you doubt it/ try to get round about/ just wait/ until somebody asks
I wonder/ it you are willing/ to be less/ less like you/ and more like me
Of course/ we never need them to ask/ / if we are quick/ to put on a mask
But this part/ isn't any fun/ how do we choose/ the right one
We wait patiently/ and we listen for cues/ and look for/ his or her views

Each encounter/ you may confess/ is one step forward/ to success
You are not really/ a people pleaser/ you are cunning and calculating/ the best
Too many masks/ to account for/ and right things to say/ make for a stressful day
But then. there is a group/ that can help us win/ and we fit in
A group/ that wears/ the same opinions/ interests/ masks and clothes
Every one/looks alike/ well sort of/ different heights/ and faces
They may come/ from different places/ and maybe/ different races
They may have/ more or less children/ but that's as far/ as it goes

We don't have/ to fill out any forms/ just follow our group's norms
And remember/ if Joe or Suzy/ gets fired/ their membership/ is retired
We may keep boozers/ addicts/ and carousers/ but we don't/ tolerate losers
All that glad to see you/ let's do what we all do/ we are true blue
All ends/ and suddenly/ in shock/ needy/ we are told/ to take a walk
The party/ is over/ and we won't ever/ be invited/ to another
Suddenly/ a frown is replaced/ by a grin/ and we are/ourselves once again

2011-03-27T01:09:00.000-07:00

Humanity a Family of Many Colors

I often wonder if it's really true that we are all connected
If all human life is sacred and should all of us be protected
Why are some people better than others/ if we are sisters and brothers
Why do some people deserve more/ yet so many are hungry and homeless
Five percent have 95 percent of all the money/ is that odd/ or funny
Five million American children/ go to bed every night/ hopeless and hungry

Color some families poor/ and some families rich/ some in the Oreo middle
The rich/ sent those jobs away/ to people/ who will work/ for a lot less pay
The third world poor/ have jobs galore/ yet they work for/ 29 cents an hour
I wonder/ if those new jobs/ are new opportunities/ or economic slavery
I wonder/ if the global economy/ is for more profit/ not to set them free

Color the human family/ black/ white/ yellow/ red and brown
I wonder/ where most of them live/ and work/ in cities and towns
I wonder/ which among them/ are serfs/ and who among them/ wear crowns
I wonder/ how much their color/ determines most of/ their destinies
I wonder/ is our country/ a melting pot/ or a mosaic/ of many colors
I wonder/ if the colors/ in our country/ can one day/ be one family

Color the biggest street gangs/ red and blue/ gangs are like families/too
The member of/ the Bloods and the Crypts/ are not color blind
Where they live/ in their hood/ some color is bad/ another color is good
Being in a gang/ is not a game/ gang-bangers/ kill each other/ with guns
I am told/ they do crimes/ and sell drugs/ that they are killers/ and thugs
Color our city streets/ with blood/ blue and red/ count the homies/ who are dead

Color the human family/ Christian/ Muslim/ Buddhist/ Hindu/ and Jew
Each of them/ has their own/ perspective/ believe they have/ the real truth
I wonder/about that/ it seems so odd/ so many religions/ only one God
I have/ my own faith/ my perspective/ the path I walk/ is Christianity
Yet I wonder/ can't we make room/ for each other/ in the human family
I wonder/ since we all know God/ can't we live/ in harmony

I wonder/ about what's become/ of the human family/ and what it will be
Will the day come/ when all of us/ have food/ shelter/ safety/ and opportunity
Together/ we can all have plenty/ have the joy/ of human dignity
Together/ we can choose to take hands/ and be/ a loving/ human family
Is it possible/ to live in peace/ and accept each other/ as our sister and our brother

2011-03-26T23:51:00.000-07:00

Sexy Sadie Such a Sad Lady

It was tea time, well actually margaritas and martini time
It was sizzling gossip and hurt her mother's feeling time
Her daughter was a "Yes if you are man enough"
Yes if you life span is long enough

Some one the ladies pretended to abhor
And so like generals commanding troops in war
Without compassion or kindness in maddening blindness
The ladies at lunch talked about her daughter at the table
Called her daughter a whore

Her mother replied/ never flinched/ never cried
"Since you ladies are such a compassionate bunch
I will bring my daughter to our lovely lunch.
And then/ be prepared/ I'll answer your herd

Tuesday/ the mother and daughter/ entered together
"My name/ and you know it/ is Sadie Mae Gray
I heard from my mom that you named me last Tuesday
You knew me when I was four/ you knew me when I was eight/
You knew me when I was twelve/ and on my first date
You don't know/ that I was raped/ when I was four/ and when I was eight
You don't know/ you couldn't know/ that I was raped/ on my first date"

But one of the mothers/ knew him/ suckled him and grew him/ gave her love to him
The boy/ with the bushy blond hair/ tall/ handsome/ without a care
"In the room you gave him/ to lay his sweet head/ he threw me ever so roughly
Yes/ you sweet momma's boy/ Ned/ threw me down on his bed
and this/ is what your boy said, 'You'll give it to me/ you'll not cry out
May parents have gone out/ and if you struggle or shout/ you'll be dead.'

He took off my clothes/ your sweet boy/ Ned/ Ned rode me so hard
Like a wild animal/ your sweet boy/ Ned/ and the blood from my vagina
Yes/ the blood from my vagina/ turned your sweet boy's sheets/ crimson red
After after it was over/ his semen inside me/ trembling all over/ I shook and said'
Yes/ I shook and trembled/ before your sweet boy/ Ned/ not wanting to live
'And once again/ after two callous men'/ I said to your sweet boy/ Ned
'You left the woman's place/ inside of me/ cold and empty/ took it all from me
Left a reminder inside of me/ that I have no purity/ no lock or security'
To your sweet boy/ Ned? I cried many tears/ as I said, 'I'd rather me dead."

He was Nancy Norma Nelson's/ sweet boy/ Ned/ and she was the one
Oh/ yes/ she was the one/ who said/ "Sadie Mae Gray is a whore."
The ladies all looked at Nancy Norma Nelson/ with the look/ that angry women's eyes wear
Not a frown/ not a stare/ a "You know what you've done" / kind of glare.

The ladies thanked God/ that they had never been raped
The ladies thanked God/ that they somehow/ had escaped
In the secrecy of their minds/ they replayed all of their dates
Each of them/ gave it all/ to get all of their dreams
Captains and players/ on high school/ sports teams

And they knew their knights in armor/ their lady charmers
Yes/ they knew their high school letter men/ all and every one of them
Their boys/ had no fidelity/ no loyalty/ no honesty/ in fleeting memories
Each the women/ grew angry/ and thought in misery/ "He cheated on me"

And in acts/ that were intended to be/ sweet revenge
Each of them/ yes every one of them/ gave it all/ to many young men
And the truth is/ the the young men/ they never/ no not one of them
Married one of the women/ their knights in armor/ their high school letter men

Her name was Sadie Mae Gray/ and for the first time in years
Her face formed a smile/ that somehow swept away/ all of her tears
And from that day/ when a young man said. "I'd like to get laid"
Sadie Mae Gray/ never again/ would say/ what she had always said,
and that was,"Are you man enough/ to go to bed with me"
Instead/ she look at the young man/ with the look/ that angry women's eyes wear
Not a frown/ not a stare/ but a"You know what you've done"/ kind of glare
After that day/ it soon got around/ that Sadie Mae Gray/ doesn't give it away

2011-03-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

There are Hidden Faces

There are hidden faces lost in a crowd
There are hidden faces waiting to be found
Jumping Jim-a-knee/ they're so quiet they're loud
Zipping/ zapping/ feet a flying/ we are all just trying
Did I say trying?/ A jet plane is slow compared to
The speed that you and I/ do fly just to get by them

Look/ oh no don't look!/ Diddley dum de dum/ have you ever seen one?
They are totally boring/ and not even one of them/ has any fun
if you don't count chewing/ big wads of/ Wrigley's Spearmint gum
They are totally/otta boately/ and scrim bittley yodely/ beneath our lofty pride
And we all know/ they have no/ feelings inside
Though it's tip tiddley true/ that if you put them down/ and make them frown
tears often come to their eyes/ mere amusement for us/ to make time fly

There are choices/ you can ignore them/ or abhor them/ or if you choose
then you can mop the floor/ with them/ again and again
They are after all/ faces lost in a crowd
They are hidden faces/ waiting to be found

Some might write you a note/ and leave it on your desk/ hoping that you
might do all of the rest/ might honor them/ and make them your guest
They often write words of desperation/ words of loneliness and exasperation
"Won't you please be my friend/ I really need a friend/ we could do things
together and have lots of fun/ Please/ oh please/ you could be the one
Without you I'll be lonely/ and oh yes/ I am almost undone"

I myself/ yesterday afternoon/ I found those words/ in a note on my desk
it was the first face/ I had ever seen/ in the crowd/ and it looked very human
I must confess/ to tell the truth/ I almost failed the test
I came oh so close to saying yes

Today I searched/ for that face in the crowd/ for some reason/ I was no longer
so proud/ I shouted at the top of my lungs/ Where are you/ hidden face in the crowd
Come out/ oh yes come out/ and I will give you/ my yes
Yesterday/ you reached out/ and you know the rest
I crumpled your note/ that you left on my desk/ and threw you away
lest I pass the test/ the test that says I am better than you and I am the best

Today my face in the crowd vanished/ wilted like a Spring flower/ at the end of the season
cut from the field/ and imprisoned in a vase/ and no longer part of/ the human race
You lived out your loneliness/ and I lived out my pride
and yesterday/ you threw your life away/ like I threw your note/ in a garbage can
Yesterday you cut your wrist/ and let your blood flow/ like a red tide
Yesterday you committed suicide/ yesterday you died

I promise that I will look and find faces in the crowd
I will reach out and make new friends
We will spend time together and have lots of fun
An none of them/ not even one of them
will ever/ no never/ be lonely again

\

2011-03-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

The Man in the Mirror and Me

I could not/ would not say that the man in the glass that I see
He could not/ would not/ actually/ factually/ finally be me
Though I wish/ I hope/ I someday may truly be he
A much younger man/ thinner man/ a can do more man

Stronger than/ lasting longer than/ with much more than

Who I am/ who with pain in his back/ and a wrinkled face
Who with grayer hair/ who with less down there and a slower pace
He can run faster/ risk a disaster/ and end up a winner in the human race
Who doesn't worry about the clock ticking/ or the end quickening
He is at the beginning/ striving for winning/ and at his ending

Some day he could be/ some day he may be/ some day he might see
Some one older yet dearer/ some one wanting/ to look in my mirror
He will then/ like me/ see what he wishes and hopes to be
And time is all that separates/ the man in the mirror from me
But today he has youth and vitality/ while I have all of my memories

And today/ I could not and I would not/ trade my memories for his
possibilities/ for all his uncertainties/ and all of his destiny
And today I smile and hold my wife in bed/ for she is the best thought in my head
she is the passion by which I am led/ and the beauty/ my rose that is red
the joy and happiness in each/ and every day that lies ahead

I Would Love You Forever

2011-03-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

I Would Love you Forever

Like a falling rain

On your window pane

I would love you forever

Again and again

I would love you forever

And always be your friend

I would love you forever

And wash away your pain.

We have soared like the eagle

On the thermals of our love

We have found loves freedom

In the power from above

And in wonder

We’ve heard the thunder

When the lighting fills the skies

As I looked into your eyes

We have walked through the valleys

In the strength of growing older

We have dreamed of horizons

As we’ve learned to live together

We have been there for each other

In every kind of weather

As our souls softly gathered

All of our hope, all that mattered

Has it been so long, a very long time?

It seems like a moment since I became yours and you became mine

Has it been forty years of laughter and of tears?

It seems to be just a moment as we traveled through those years.

And I know deep down in the hollow of my soul

That I couldn’t wander without being next to you.

Some days I weep and tears roll from my eyes

Because nothing else really matters but the moments of our lives

Like a falling rain

On your window pane

I would love you forever

Again and again

I would love you forever

And always be your friend

I would love you forever

And wash away your pain.

Words of an old man

Fall softly like the rain

Sunshine is ready

To warm our hearts each day

I will love your forever

Again and again

I will love you forever

Even after one of us is gone

I will savor each moment of time

That we are together that I am yours and you are mine

I will hold you in my arms as long as I can

You are the only woman in my life and I am your man

I will love you forever as long as I can

I will love you forever again and again

I will love you forever with every breath I have

I will love you forever and always be your friend.

2010-12-06T16:59:00.000-08:00

A Man and his Pipe

There is nothing like a good pipe and excellent tobacco. Pipes come in all shapes and sizes. Long stemmed churchwarden pipes provide a cool smoke. Each pipe is a work of art, unique and beautiful. Pipe smokers are collectors and their collections grow over the years. There is a huge variety of tobaccos, tobacco blends and flavors to choose from.
I began my pipe smoking journey 45 years ago. In those days pipe shops contained a large variety of pipes and tobaccos. Every visit to a pipe shop was an adventure. Today local pipe shops focus on selling cigars and the variety of pipes and tobaccos is very small. In fact they now carry many things that don't relate to pipe smoking. I do my best to support them and suggest tobaccos that they should carry.
Things have changed. The pipe smoker has to go to the Internet to find the variety that pipe shops was had. I bought my first pipe in Portland and it was a Digby bulldog pipe with a saddle bit. I paid $5 for it. Today a pipe of the same quality costs at least $50. A beginning pipe smoker needs at least three pipes. Cheap pipes smoke hot because they are made of poor quality briar and they are lacquered. The lacquer holds the heat in and keeps the pipe from breathing. So most beginning pipe smokers have a bad experience.
Today there are only 1.6 million pipe smokers. I am not sure how they came up with that number but it is the official number that is listed. Savinelli, an Italian pipe company offers three things: excellent briar pipes at reasonable prices, a variety of styles of pipes at reasonable prices, and all of their pipes smoke cool. Of course they also offer pipes that are a lot more expensive.
However, I must add that a good pipe usually cost $50. Estate pipes are pipes that have been smoked and you can find excellent pipes for less than $50.
In my next blog I will explore the area of affordable pipes and talk about pipe tobaccos that you may enjoy. In the meantime check out the Internet and take time to compare prices. Everyone has their favorite sites,
Until next time, enjoy your pipes and relax,
Curtis

Get the Picture

2009-10-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

Get the Picture

My granddaughter Zoe celebrated her first birthday recently and she had two parties. I took pictures and gave her parents a scrapbook filled with lots of pictures after each party. Each of the two scrapbooks is a little different, but both of them are filled with memories.

One day Zoe will grow up and begin a life of her own and her parents will open scrapbooks and remember her journey. After my own children grew up, I realized how valuable and wonderful those pictures were. I put them together in those white cardboard clear plastic frames, on colorful scrapbook paper and hung them on the walls of our living room. With a turn of my head, I traveled back through time to moments in the lives of our children.

My wife, Sharon took most of those pictures, but our parents gave us pictures to travel back into our childhood. Now, I seem to have taken on that role. Perhaps that is because my children gave me a digital camera. Photographs need dates and names for those who will receive them after we die. Someday our journeys will be memories for our children to share.

You, too can give that gift to your children. It is worth the time and effort, and your gift of photos will be treasures. Share your journeys in scrapbooks, and make enough for all of your children.

Curtis

Be Mice to Elephants

2009-09-07T17:19:00.000-07:00

Be Mice to Elephants

This is one of my acrylic paintings It was was based on one of my ink drawings, and it is different in some ways. The ink drawing is above my painting.

The symbolism is simple. Elephants are supposes to be afraid of mice, but I think that mice are afraid of elephants because they are huge and powerful. Still, if we use the other idea, something interesting happens. The little mouse stands up to the huge elephant, confronts what he is afraid of and conquers his fears.

There are people that believe that the elephant would just step on the mouse, and the mouse should avoid elephants. If we were talking abut cats and foxes, I would have to concede that point. When you use symbols, you have to refrain from adding too much stuff. I say, "Stick to elephants and mice!"

That allows us to learn something. We can stand up to our fears and do something about them. Can we actually make friends with our fears. When we reach the point when we are no longer afraid, we can live with whatever we were afraid of.

Perhaps we may learn from the mouse. Our strength and our size do not have to be equal to or greater than what we fear. We conquer our fears when we draw on something inside of us. If we have the faith the size of a mustard seed, we can move mountains, and elephants, and other things. Find the verse in the bible and look up, "With faith, all things are possible."

You remember the phrase, "Are you mice or men!" If we accept the meaning of our metaphor, mice deserve a better reputation. Something small can overcome something great and powerful.

Bear

Two For Jesus -Tom and Rachel

2009-09-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

Two For Jesus
Tom and Rachel

We talk a lot about giving our lives to Jesus and serving him and yet most people don't get much farther than that. Tom and Rachel are God's servants. Tom works with the high school youth and Rachel works with the junior high youth. They belong to a church that believes that every member should find an opportunity to serve Jesus and to serve Jesus in some form of Christian ministry.

Rachel has a gift for serving junior high youth. She understands them and she connects with them. I saw her with them in her Sunday school class. Their faces lit up as they entered the room and saw that she was there. It was obvious that they love her.

Tom has a gift with high school you. He understands them and he connects with them. He can play with them and share the fun. He also talks to them about Jesus Christ and they listen to him. It was obvious that they love him.

It was refreshing to share their home with them last weekend. I felt the presence of Jesus Christ, their love for him and each other and us. They are two for Christ and they are making a difference in the lives of youth. I smile when I think about my son and my daughter. No, they are not brother and sister, but I refuse to use the phrase, "daughter in law." She is much more than that. She is my daughter and I count that as a blessing.

I was a pastor for eighteen years. Seeing them at work in ministry for Jesus Christ brings me great joy. They are two for Jesus and they shine, their lights shine for Jesus.

Bear

Listening Fills Our Emptiness

2009-08-26T14:27:00.000-07:00

Listening Fills Our Emptiness

I have been writing a blog for sometime and today it occurred to me that listening fills our emptiness. I wonder how I can write a listening blog. Since my blog entries have no comments from readers, I wonder if anyone reads what I write.
I thought about that and I also saw that a true listener is not filled with his/her own words. In fact, a true listener is a blank page, and that allows him or her tp focus completely on what the other person is saying, and see the para language, the nonverbal messages that add meaning. Should a blog be a blank page?

Those who speak to us require some feedback, just enough to encourage the other person to share his/her thoughts, but not some much that the flow of the other person's communication is interrupted Effective and fulfilling listening takes practice. Many interactions will be short, but meaningful. A message that is too long may lose the attention of the listener, even an experienced listener.

I went shopping and I noticed the enthusiasm of the woman who was assisting the check out clerk. She had very short hair, shorter than a crew cut and I said to her, "I like your hair," She ran her hand across the top of her head and said,"Thank you." I asked her if she liked her job and she answered, "I applied when I was living in Seattle, and they hired me on the spot. I moved my husband anf family so I could work here."

This wasn't an ordinary company. Those that they hire start at $11 an hour. Getting her new job was a major event in her life. It required her to move a long way from her home and start a new job. Her enthusiasm flowed from her new job, and she seemed to love her job. It was obvious that the company gota good deal and a great worker.

A lot of people don't seem to have the time to talk or listen. They are too busy.
It seems like the times when men sat together smoking their pipes and sharing with each other has ended. Perhaps they are like the dragon, in my picture. relaxing and smoking his pipe. He is alone and his scales protect him.

Curtis

Nobody Wins

2009-08-23T17:04:00.000-07:00

Nobody Wins

Darwin wrote, "Life is the survival of the fittest."

The conflict of nations, ethnic groups, street gangs, and tough men and women may be about survival, control, dominance, and gaining wealth. Sometimes it is about freedom an protecting innocents. When innocents are killed during a war, a drive by shooting, or by a shoot out, it is called collateral damage. It seems to be an escape clause and to be derived from the reasoning that it is normal for innocent people to die during the lethal part of violent human conflicts.

We live in a world where we need warriors and war machines to protect us from our enemies. We need police men and women to protect us from violent criminals and street gangs, and organized crime. More and more citizens study the martial arts and/or get gun permits because they have watched innocent people beaten or killed, and they don't feel safe.

If Darwin is right, if may be helpful to learn how to use a hand gun if you live or work in violent parts of our cities. That might keep a woman from being raped or any number of people from being killed for the money in their cash registers or wallets. Do we live in a world that requires us to take these measures to save our lives or save us from severe beatings? Martial arts can also help to insure our safety. Will the inability to protect ourselves result in more death and/or severe beatings?

In every case, the use of violence may leave another person, good or bad. injured or dead. Canada has used a radically different approach. Canada does a good job of taking care of the needs of its citizens. They have created a system that offers food, shelter, and medical care to all of its citizens. They believe that all people deserve that. In that country crimes and violence are very rare. What would happen if every nation had that kind of system in place?

President Obama is facing huge opposition from Republicans and many Democrats because he wants to insure that every American has medical care. The rich say that his national health plan will raise taxes and they have TV ads to convince the people to oppose it. Obama's approval rating has dropped to fifty percent. It cost a lot of money for Canada's approach, but it also includes decent housing and food, and reasonable financial help. Canada has created a country where violence and crime are very rare. Why is our nation unwilling to embrace that system? We see them as socialists and we are told that socialism is bad, but if that means that all of their people are valued and cared for, is it bad?

Our system is failing and our homeless and unemployment numbers have increased dramatically. The number of blue color jobs for America's work force has fallen to its lowest level. Sixty five million working Americans have no health insurance. Though the crisis in our country began in the seventies, we have just begun to see that our nation is in trouble. Most of our auto makers are bankrupt, and service jobs are going overseas along with many "professional" jobs.

In our battle with drugs, violence, and crime. it seems that nobody wins. Two percent of our citizens are living in overcrowded prisons and jails The majority of the inmates were convicted for drug related crimes and we have very little money for counseling and rehabilitation. When there is little or no help, there is no hope.

Perhaps it is time for more Americans to vote,YES, for America. Less than thirty percent of us vote, and/or give $ to support candidates. Our votes, many more voters, may change our country and help our president to help all Americans. That would be a win win situation.

Curtis

Monsters Are Real

2009-08-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

Monsters Are Real

One night my son came to talk to me. I was smoking my pipe and working on a model. It was late, but his question led me to put aside the model car and talk to him. He asked, "Daddy, are monsters real?" I thought about his question for awhile, about what monsters mean to a little boy. Do the monsters in our dreams express the bad things in our lives that we have to face everyday?

When I was a graduate student I took lessons in Kenpo karate because I needed some exercise. A father brought his twelve year old son for lessons. He had a good reason. Three bullies stopped his son at the beginning of his paper route. They took his papers out of his newspaper bag everyday and threw them randomly all about. I taught him Kenpo and he worked hard. Finally he was ready. The three bullies appeared as usual and the boy followed my instructions. He took off his news paper bag and said, "I don't want to hurt you." They laughed at him. He placed his left hand on the leaders left shoulder and delivered a rams head punch to his stomach. The leader fell to the ground gasping for air. The leader wasn't hurt; he just got the wind knocked out of him. The boy made his point and the three bullies never bothered him again. His bullies were monsters in his eyes, and he was afraid of them. After he dealt with them, he wasn't afraid anymore, but they were afraid of him.

I am not suggesting that physical violence is the best way to deal with our monsters. In fact, I believe it is seldom necessary. There are times when it may save our lives, or when it is the last resort. Many times the confidence that I gained from learning Kenpo karate was enough to send a bully looking for some one else, a person that is afraid of bullies. We need to stand up to our monsters and deal with them, or we will always live with fear. Words are powerful. Words can often solve our problems with our monsters.

Some situations don't allow us to deal with our monsters. That doesn't mean that we have to fear them. They may be people close to us who are unwilling to deal with their stuff. They are passive aggressive, and they avoid any kind of conflict, even when things may be resolved. We learn to let go and let live in those situations. Those situations may hurt a lot and it may be hard to let go of our pain.

After a few moments, I answered my son, "Yes, monsters are real, but Jesus is bigger than our monsters and he can deal with them." My son smiled after we prayed, and went to bed. I wondered what about the monsters he was facing.
He is grown up now, and he is very good at dealing with his monsters.

Loves More Than One, But No Infidelity

2009-08-15T00:21:00.000-07:00

Loves More Than One, But No Infidelity

We watched an interesting episode of Star Trek Enterprise. Once again, Captain Archer had offended the aliens. His dog, Porthos, peed on one of the tress that they considered sacred. The doctor sent the aliens genetic information about Porthos, and they should have known that something in their environment would make his dog very sick. If they had warned Captain Archer, Porthos would have stayed on the star ship, Enterprise. Porthos got so sick that the doctor wasn't sure if he would live through the night.

The aliens demanded an apology for Porthos' indiscretion. Captain Archer felt that they owed him an apology because his dog was dying. The aliens made plasma inductors and his star ship needed one. He would have to apologize or the aliens would not give them a plasma inductor. He loved his star ship and his crew, but it seemed that he loved Porthos more. Porthos was dying and he was very angry, and there was no way that he would apologize.

Captain Archer's love for Porthos, his star ship, and crew was appropriate, but conflicted. The doctor told him about one other kind of love that he was unaware of. Actually it wasn't really love; it was sexual tension. Tpol, a Vulcan woman, and his science officer was the object of those emotions. He would never act on those feelings because their were rules in place that forbid sexual relations between the two of them. He asked the doctor what to do and he told him that it was enough to be aware of those feelings. He spoke with her in the privacy of his room, about his situation with the aliens. As she left, she acknowledged that it was a good thing that there were rules in place that kept them both safe.

The doctor also helped him to sort out his feelings about Porthos and his responsibility to his crew as a star ship captain. His apology to the aliens required him to go through an elaborate ritual. His reward for doing it well was two extra plasma inductors, for a total of three instead of one.

We have jobs that we love, family that we love, and many of us have pets that we love. We may have friends, and hobbies that we love. Sorting all of that out may be difficult and we may have conflicts to resolve. Sexual tensions are not intentional and they,too, must be resolved. We are human and feeling arise from time to time. The most import thing is to be aware of all of that.

Bear

Triumphs and Tears

2009-08-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

Star Atheletes

Tears

Triumphs and Tears

I watched her perform in her pink gymnasts' outfit. She was a young person, just barely an adolescent. I knew that gymnastics takes a great deal of discipline and the goals are precision and perfection. Her routine realized that goal and then she stumbled on her landing, the very last part of her routine. That mistake cost her dearly. She put on a proper face, a winning smile, and yet I knew that she must have been crying on the inside. I wondered how she would handle that later in her private moments. A lot was expected of her and one mistake meant failure.

A female long distance runner had performed poorly at a previous event. The TV announcers predicted that she would not win a medal. She had performed well at other events and she was praised by the press. It seemed that the press and TV media were clear about the fact that no one believed in her anymore. She fell behind during the first part of the race and the TV announcers continued to make negative comments about her performance and they constantly repeated their prediction that she would fail. I wondered what she was thinking and feeling during her race. Did she believe her critics? Had she given up on herself? It all seemed so impossible, and yet I did not give up hope. Gradually she began to catch up and she was very close to the front runners. It was nearly over and then she seemed to fly as her speed increased dramatically. It was nip and tuck as the group neared the finish line and she finished just a few inches ahead of them. She gave more than she had and I saw her on her back gasping for breath. When she received her gold medal, she was barely able to stand. She was not injured and she would recover. She definitely had that something special that few people have and she won the day in a great triumph of will.

Our lives are not so different. Success requires a lot of hard work, perseverance, and discipline. Sometimes one mistake can lead to failure and we must decide if we will move on and get back on track. Some days it seems like no one believes in us and we must believe in ourselves. I wonder how we acquire that something special that few people have, and I know that it makes all of the difference.

Bear

A Windy Day

2009-08-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

A Windy Day

There is a place in Seattle, near an old. abandoned steam plant where people gather to fly their kites. Dragon kites, and box kites and many more kinds of kites can be seen soaring in the sky. There are adults, youth and children holding on to kite strings, and wearing smiles. They feel a wonderful freedom as the wind sails their kites across a big blue sky, and some of them soar very high. Sometimes strong winds free the kites from their hands and those kites sail away to distant destinations.

A kite becomes a friend and it's always hard to lose a friend; some times a friend must be set free because we can't control the wind. We blame ourselves and yet it is the wind that chooses to free to kites and friends from us. Eventually they may return. I saw an old man return a kite to a child and watched a child hold her kite gently in her hands. The little girl said to her kite, "Why did you leave me? I love you." Many love songs begin like that. I saw a kite sail in the sky free as a bird and then return to a little boy. He held the kite almost too tight and said, "Welcome back friend." There is a joy that fills our hearts when kites and friends return to us.

Our children can be like kites; they fly higher and higher and one day their strings, their ties with family slip through are hands and they fly way. We pray that the wind will be kind to them and that they will continue to soar beneath the warmth of the sun. They usually return and yet they may feel that they do not need our help to fly. That's what it means to grow up and begin a new life. Our children were born to learn how to fly on their own.

Bear

Dreams and Nightmares

2009-08-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

Dreams and Nightmares

There is a line in a Simon and Garfunkle song, "And we've all gone to search for America." In these days of chaos and growing unemployment lines, many of us are asking, "Where have all the jobs gone?" Peter, Paul and Mary sang a a powerful folk song, "Where have all the Flowers Gone." I want to convert the poetic chorus to our situation. "Where have all the workers gone? Gone to unemployment lines every one. Oh, when will we ever work. Oh, when will we ever work? Where have all the jobs gone? Gone to other nation every one? Oh when will we ever learn? Oh when will we ever learn?"

Chaos erupted as quickly as the bullet from a hunter's rifle and the American worker fell in silence without a requiem. While we were sleeping unaware, the American dream became a nightmare. A computer programmer's forty dollar an hour job went overseas to a stranger who does the same job for ten dollars an hour. Microsoft's empire gained more profits when all of their customer service jobs went to India. Verizon sent their customer service jobs to Mexico. Oh so many manufacturing jobs went to China and finally the jobs in the American automobile plants crashed in a car wreck of astronomic proportion. The needs of greed broke our banks and the items at our stock market were all on sale at bargain prices, Retirement plans felt the heat and there were no fans.

Millions of Americans are searching but only a few are finding work because companies are tightening their belts and there are no notches left. The real jobs that Americans had are now only figments of our imagination. The jobs that were promised Americans left without saying good bye. Like the old cowboy ghost towns, American manufacturing cities are filled with empty storefronts, and vacant houses. Factories have become monuments to our nations decline.

Our president, Obama, is working hard to bring order out of Chaos, but he faces a lot of opposition from those who profited from our nation's decline. Yet a ray of hope shines because a growing group of CEO s have discovered that those who benefit from America should contribute to it. We can support our president at the polling places with our votes and we can stand up and speak out for America. I am glad that I voted for Obama because he is a man with a vision for America, a man who may earn a place in history if we give him the support he deserves.

Bear

Climb Every Mountain Until You Find Your Dream

2009-07-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

Climb Every Mountain Until You Find Your Dream

A day without a dream is like a car with an empty gas tank.
A day without a dream is like a bird with out wings
A day without a dream is like a sailboat without wind

My son Tom and his wonderful wife Rachel are rock climbers. I can only wonder about what they feel after they complete their climb. I am inspired by the rock climbing pictures that they sent me and I am in awe of their climbs.

Every good thing in our lives begins with our dream about how we would like our lives to be, about who we would like to be, about what we would like to do, about what we would like to accomplish.

Our dreams can come true if we are willing to climb the mountain and reach the top. The climb requires persistence, requires the courage to face obstacles and overcome them, requires faith in God and faith in ourselves when the climbing gets hard and we are afraid of falling.

Tom hurt his shoulder and he won't be able to climb for awhile. He will heal and he will climb again because he has faith and a strong will that says, "I can and I will do it." He will continue to pursue his dream because he has already accomplished many things and there are more things that he knows he can do, because he will never give up, never quit.

The musical "Man of La Mancha," has a beautiful line in one of its songs. Don Quiote sings, "Climb every mountain until you find your dream." We discover our dreams after we get our bodies in motion with enthusiasm. We discover our dream as we climb our first mountain.

Bear

There Are Hidden Faces

2009-07-28T01:06:00.000-07:00

There Are Hidden Faces

There are hidden faces lost in a crowd
There are hidden faces waiting to be found
Jumping Jim-a-knee, they're so quiet that they're loud
Zipping, zapping, feet a flying we are all just trying
Did I say trying? A jet airplane is so slow compared to
The very speed that you and I do fly just to get by them.
Look, oh no don't look! Diddley dum de dum; have you ever seen even one?
They are totally boring and not even one of them has any fun, if you don't count chewing big wads of Wrigley's Spearmint Gum.
They are totally, otta boatlley, and scrim bittley yodely beneath our lofty pride, and we all know that they have no true feelings inside.
Though it is tip tiddley true that if you put them down and make them frown, tears often come to their eyes, mere amusement for us to make time fly.
There are choices; you can ignore them, or abhore them, or if you choose, then you can mop the floor with them again and again.
They are after all, faces lost in a crowd
They are faces waiting to be found
Some might write you a note and leave it on your desk, hoping that you might do all of the rest, might honor them and make them your guest.
They often write words of desperation, words of loneliness and exasperation,
"Won't you please be my friend, I really need a friend. We could do things together and we'd have lots of fun. Please, oh please, you could be the one. Without you I'll ne lonely and oh yes, I am almost undone.
I myself, yesterday afternoon, I found those words in a note on my desk; it was the first face I have ever seen in the crowd and it looked very human, I must confess.
To tell the truth, I almost failed the test; I came oh so close yo saying , "yes."
Today I searched for that face in the crowd; for some reason I was no longer so proud.
I shouted at the top of my lungs, "Where are you, hidden face in the crowd? Come out, oh yes come out, and I'll give you my yes. Yesterday you reached out and well you know the rest. I crumpled your note that you left on my desk, and threw it away lest I pass the test, the test that says I am better than you and I am the best."
Today my face in the crowd vanished, wilted like a spring flower at the end of the season, cut from the field and imprisoned in a vase, lost in a crowd and no longer part of the human race.
You lived out your loneliness and I lived out my pride, threw your life away like I threw your note in the garbage can.
Yesterday you committed suicide; yesterday you died.
I promise you that I will look and find the faces in the crowd,
I will reach out and I will make new friends.
We will spend time together and have lots of fun, and none of them, not even one of them will ever, no never, be lonely again.

Bear

Danger, Roadblocks, and Birds

2009-07-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

Danger Roadblocks and Birds

We walked the trail and saw the bird on a treetop not far from its nest. We observed its nest on top of a power pole and we saw the danger. The nest was built by the bird to keep her children safe, but it was clear that they were in danger. The power lines were connected near her nest and when lightning shoots across the sky they become a welcome target. It appeared to be a paradox because the most dangerous place may have also provided the safest place for her children, a place that kept them safe from predators. She sat atop a tree nearby and she could see the surroundings, and any threat to her children. In a world of nature invaded by man, the little bird had done its best.

I wondered if the people from the power company would take down her nest. I am not sure, but it seems that the power company people have reasons for doing things like that. Perhaps the little bird's nest building was her attempt to adapt to the changes that man has made to her environment. The question was, would we allow her to continue living with us. It was clear that the future of the little bird and her children was uncertain.

On the ground where we were walking, we noticed a sign which read," DANGER." The sign was near the trail, a warning to us as we walked and observed the beauty of nature. The sign almost read, "KEEP OUT" and "NO TRESPASSING." A list of reasons was also on the sign. Man had not only made life difficult for the little bird. man had also created places that weren't safe for us.

A chain link fence kept us from walking on a concrete bridge that spanned the river. There was a warning without reasons and we wondered by man built the fence. We wondered if humans make our world a dangerous place to live in, and like the little bird, we wondered how we could/can adapt to that. We saw clearly that people make the world a dangerous place to live in. We all can make a long list of those dangers, though I have no idea why those dangers become television entertainment.

We start early teaching our children the danger signs, and add more as they grow older. Some people make our world an unsafe place for children, and they don't wear danger signs. Some people make our city sidewalks an unsafe place to walk. We know the about those dangers and they are ever present.

People move to the suburbs to build their nests, make their homes in safer places, but after awhile the dangers seem to follow them. I wondered what would happen if we put DANGER SIGNS at the entrances to our communities which included a list of reasons.

Perhaps all of this talk about real dangers may motivate us to start changing our world, to start thinking about our society and the reasons that it is dangerous way to live. Perhaps we may ask the question, "Why is it a lot safer to live in Canada?"

Bear

Encouraging

2009-07-23T17:42:00.000-07:00

Encouraging
Romans 12:6-8
"If it is encouraging, let him encourage." Romans 12:8

I shared three list of spiritual gifts in my last blog. Originally, I waned to write about encouraging others. Then it occurred to me that it is important to see that there are many spiritual gifts from God, and we have different spiritual gifts. The gift of encouraging is only found in one of Paul's list, and their are other spiritual gifts that are found on all of the three lists.

Encouraging is such an important gift, and I wonder why it only made one list. I discovered that many of Paul's letters and much of his ministry focused on encouragement. "We sent Timothy, who is our brother and God's fellow worker in the spreading of the gospel of Christ to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, so that no one would be unsettled by these trials." 1 Thessalonians 3:2-3
Paul often shared in his letters about sending encouragers to help Christians deal with difficult things.

Paul wrote a short encourager's prayer. "May our Lord, Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Encouragement is one of my spiritual gifts, and it is an essential part of who I am. We don't need to do much to use that gift. Encouraging others may be as natural as breathing. Sometimes it requires more, and then it may be useful to think about an important phrase, "Be interruptable." If a moment offers an opportunity for encouragement, we should be there for another person, even a stranger. If listening to a person is a need that offers encouragement, it may take longer. When we say, "How are you?" or "How are things going today?" do we really mean it, or is it just an empty greeting? I have seen people looking confused when some one attempts to tell him/her about his/her day.

I value those simple phrases because they offer the opportunity for human contact and genuine encouragement. Often a cashier at a checkout stand will share something at that moment. Perhaps we connected because I made eye contact and my voice resonated genuine concern. A previous customer may have been rude and my reply may be, "I am very sorry that happened to you. You always offer a smile and excellent service." The cashier often offers a big smile and the words, "Thank you."

People need encouragement and all of us can offer others encouragement. Some people see encouragement from a negative viewpoint. Sometimes I wonder if they are the people that need it the most. We do not have to apologize for sincere words of encouragement that come from the heart. We don't need to worry about people who reject encouragement.

Encouragement is not counseling. It may be standing with some one through a crisis, but it is not about giving advice. Encouragement may be listening or being with some one, but it's role is not guidance. We may offer empathy, but encouragement is not misplaced sympathy. Empathy is allowing ourselves to share the persons feelings. Too much sympathy may justify some one's staying stuck where they are. Some people seem to want to stay stuck, and they may need encouragement to move on with their lives.

Often encouragement is making positive contact with another human being. We can affirm the good things we see in another person and that may be the start of hope in their lives. My prayer is that we may all find a positive connection in the human family and set aside our differences. Hope for the human race may start there.

Bear

God's Gifts

2009-07-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

The Gift of Encouragement
(Romans 12:4-8))

Part 1 Romans 12:1-3
Considerations Before We Get the Job

I have my old, more than worn out, New International Version, bible in front of me. Reading it is like having a time of fellow ship with an old friend. This bible is a comfortable and familiar place that allows me to find favorite verses easier.

The first paragraph explains spiritual worship. Paul begins by asking us to think about God's mercy and offers it to us as the reason that we can offer God our bodies as living sacrifices to God. He explains that we should be holy and pleasing to God. If we want to be holy and pleasing to God we must not conform ourselves to the pattern of the world. We must allow God to change the way that we think about things. That allows us to test and agree to God's will for our lives. which Paul describes as good and pleasing.

Paul begins the second paragraph by dealing with two kinds of pride that will lead to our fall. Though he doesn't deal with this directly, he explains that we should not see ourselves as more important than other people. If we are conforming to the world we will seek power over others, a higher position, as well as greater wealth. Those things become the desires of our hearts and we give them our time and our attention. Spiritual pride sets us above other people, even other Christians because of our view of our relationship with God and what we feel is our dedication to being holy, obedient, and pleasing to God. We reason that we are better, and more important because we perform better for God. Paul tells us to draw on the faith that God has given us, and take a good, hard look at ourselves.

Part 2 Romans 12:4-7
Finding a Job in the Body of Christ

When I read Romans 12:1-3 it helps me to prepare myself to work for God. I ask myself what I want out of life, what I feel will make me feel happy and satisfied. I take a hard look at my life and I accept the fact that I have sinned and I need Christ's forgiveness and God's help in changing myself so that I will be prepared for God to hire me for a job in the body of Christ. That process requires the kind of honesty that is not accompanied by excuses, and requires a sincere desire to change. I don't have to be perfect to get hired, but I do need to deal with my stuff.

Paul compares the body of Christ with our human bodies. All of the parts of my physical body work together to make me healthy. My hands do not say, "I won't be a hand because I would rather be the heart; the heart is more important and I deserve the job. Every part of my body knows what it was made to do and it does its job without an argument. The body of Christ is like that and every job is very important. Together we are the body of Christ and we belong to each other

Paul says that we are given different jobs and we have different functions in the body of Christ. He calls those jobs gifts because our jobs are given to us by God. He explains that we are given our jobs according to the grace that God has given us. That means that we are given the job that God has created us to do. In addition God has blessed us with the ability to do that job.

The List of Jobs/Gifts

1. If a man's gift is prophecy, let him use it in proportion to his faith.
2. If it is serving, let him serve
3. If it is teaching, let him teach
4. If it is encouraging, let him encourage
5. If it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously
6. If it is leadership, let him govern diligently
7. If it is showing mercy let him do it cheerfully

Part 3 Paul's lists of Spiritual Gifts/Jobs
1 Corinthians 12:1-11

I want to talk about the gift/job of encouraging, but first I want to clear up some confusion. You have read one list of jobs/gifts and Paul offers two more lists.Paul

Paul explains, in the first paragraph that he wants us to know about the spiritual gifts because there was a time when we were seduced my false gods. Too often we view things as harmless that put us in real danger. When we read the horoscopes in the news paper we are conceding to a false god and believing that the false god knows are future. Children take part in popular role playing games and video games that have characters from the world dark side. We also watch movies and read books that deal with words and spells and forces that come out of the pit of hell. We dismiss them as harms stories meant only to entertain us, but Harry Potter and Dungeons and Dragons would be put on Paul's list, which cautions us not to visit these seductive and evil tools of Satan. They offer very real and evil powers to children and adults.

God offers us a power that is greater and uses that power to work for our good. Before we seek God's spiritual gifts we must leave the paths of hell and the ways of the world and begin walking in God's light.

Paul begins the second paragraph by explaining that there are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but they all come from the Holy Spirit. They work in different ways, but God works through all of them.

God gives us spiritual gifts to be used for the common good. We should never fall to spiritual pride and believe that we are better than other Christians or "Special," because God has given us a spiritual gift.

The Second List of Spiritual Gifts/Jobs

1. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom
2. To another the gift of knowledge by means of the of the same Spirit
3. To another faith by the same Spirit
4. To another gifts of healing by that one Spirit
5. To another miraculous powers
6. To another prophecy
7. To another the ability to distinguish between spirits
8. To another the ability to speak in different kinds of tongues
9. And to still another the interpretation of tongues

Paul concludes that all of these gifts are the work of one and the same Spirit, and God gives those spiritual gifts to each person according to his will and purpose.

The Third List of Spiritual Gifts/Jobs
1st Corinthians 12:12-31

Paul prefaces his list of spiritual gifts by reminding us that the Body of Christ, like our physical bodies, has many parts, but there is only one body. Paul makes reference to our baptism. "For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body- whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free- and we are all given the one Spirit to drink."
In 2 Corinthians verses 21-22 he explains what happened, "For now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what his to come." God doesn't care about what race or ethnic background that we have, or what claims other people or any legal system has on us. We are all part of the same body of Christ.

We can look at the body of Christ from three different perspectives. Some see it as a local church, others as a denomination, and still others as all of the Christians.
If we see the first two as units of the body of Christ, then they should all be able to work together as one body in Christ. Paul had to deal with two separate churches, the Jewish Christians and the Gentile Christians. He also has to deal with conflicts between his missionary, gentile churches, and groups within his churches. Before we move toward receiving our spiritual gifts, we must understand that there is only one body of Christ and God is free to call us to serve any of the denominations and local churches. God will use us and the spiritual gifts that he has given us wherever he sees fit. Perhaps different units of the body of Christ have different missions and doctrines, but they are all part of the body of Christ, and Christ is the head of it. Paul reminds us in the third paragraph that "there should be no division in the body."

The Third List of Spiritual Gifts/Jobs
1 Corinthians 12:27-31

Preface - "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you are a part of it. And in the church God has appointed -
1. first of all apostles
2. second prophets
3. third teachers
4. then workers of miracles
5. also those having gifts of healing
6. those able to help others
7.those with the gift of administration
8.and those speaking in tongues

Epilogue - Paul reminds us that we are given different gifts/jobs. Why are there three different lists. Paul was not seeking to create a doctrinal statement. Paul was writing letters and answering questions. Though there are similarities, each list deal with at least one issue that needed to be resolved.

Next time we will look at the spiritual gift/job of encouragement.

Bear

The Journey

2009-07-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

The Journey

God has blessed me with a wonderful partner and we share our life journey together. She has given us a beautiful family and she has nurtured our children. She has offered me her love and she is my soul mate. I know that my wife, Sharon is a gift of God.

We have walked together for over forty years. During those years we have faced many challenges and we have grown. God has been our teacher and God has given us many lessons to learn. We agree that, in the beginning, we were two frumpy people fumbling with love, and we needed each other.

The part of our marriage that held us together during our hard times was and is our commitment to each other. There were days when we could have separated or divorced, days when we wondered why we chose each other. We were and are committed to each other and our love for each other held the belief that things would get better. We learned to blow on the coals in our hearts until the flame grew again and became a bonfire blaze.

We went through days when the experts, Christian and secular, advised us to declare bankruptcy. God has always been our source and God has always taken care of our needs. I worked three jobs and Sharon worked a full time job. There were Christmases that we had no money to buy gifts for our children. We had one thing to hang on to and that was and is our faith in God.

During our years together we have learned how important our family is and we thank God for the gift of our children and our extended family. Our family has always been there for us and we have done, and we do the best that we can for our family. Our family has been held together by the commitment that we have to each other. We share our journey and we walk together side by side.

The journey that all of us take does not come with guarantees. None of us know what the future may bring. We do know that God knows what he is doing. I found a little quote that sums up every thing, "Good morning. This is God! I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help. So have a good day!"

Bear

Out of the Ashes, the Phoenix Rises

2009-07-18T17:55:00.000-07:00

Out the Ashes the Phoenix Rises

We would go on as we always have, if there wasn't a catalyst for change in our lives. We may not like the catalyst because it is often painful, but it is a gift from our God and it comes from a greater wisdom. Going back to the place where we were is like taking three steps backward.

Where we are is not our final destination. We have arrived at a place of preparation for the next stage of our journey. We receive valuable training and we have the opportunity to make important changes in our lives. There is important work for us to do and we have two choices to make.

We are only meant to be there for awhile. Some choose to stay there because their pain seems to be more comfortable than change. They will never discover their true destiny. Others allow the catalyst for change to help them to let go and move on. At every stage of of journey there is a time to let go and move on. The gifts received from letting go and moving on are peace and new energy for our journey.

I have learned that pain points to a place that can heal and feel good again. I prefer progress to pain. It is a lot more than, "The Power of Positive Thinking;" it is the reality of positive being. We have risen from the ashes of our lives and we have given ourselves permission to soar and ride the thermals with the sun on our backs.

I have offered you a few pictures of me that show me in different stages of my journey.

Bear

Radical Acceptance

2009-07-16T23:37:00.000-07:00

Radical Acceptance

Perhaps one of the most painful things is when a person or persons lie about us/you/me, and there is nothing that us/you/me can do to change that lie. False words are like the glowing red hot branding iron, and they burn their image, brand the flesh, causing a lot of pain. The path to radical acceptance is believing that some good will come out of that, but that isn't always true. Sometimes the liar has personal reasons for lying, an agenda, or a cover up of his/her actions. It works for them and leaves the other person a victim. I have learned that honesty is not the norm for our society. Honesty is often much weaker than the lie. What is a human being without a conscience? What does a life journey mean if it's destination is not honorable and true?
Shalom is the only true answer to that and it offers kindness, gentleness, foegiveness, and grace. That is a path toward radical acceptance that I can walk,

Bear

Three of my acrylic paintings

2009-07-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

Three of My Acrylic Paintings

I like to use acrylic paints because they are forgiving (I can easily correct my mistakes) and they offer me many more color choices and lots more space. The last painting is a a copy of one of my ink drawings. I've added a few details and changed a few things.

My wife, Sharon advised me to create original paintings and the first two paintings are originals. In one sense the copies of my ink drawings took more time because my effort was to make an accurate copy. Yet, original drawings can take a lot of time, too, because a new creations require a lot of decisions.

My photographs could be better. I photographed them hanging on my wall and that was difficult. It would have been better if I took them down. I have created twenty nine acrylic paintings and there is only room for twenty seven paintings.

The first of the two left over paintings was inspired by a couple that got a divorce because of infidelity. The images in it connect in a paradox mixing graphic portrayals of pain with serene images of hope. The second painting shows the face of a man in chaos and turmoil. In addition to the man there are three animals; two bears and a tiger. There is also a woman who seems to be at peace amidst the swirling colors of chaos and turmoil.

I almost forgot my first two paintings. One is a scent set in the garden of Eden. There is naked couple and an evil serpent. The second painting shows a human sacrifice by Inca people, high up in their temple. The rest emphasizes the dark reality of it all.

No one knows what to call my art because my paintings and ink drawing are very unusual. I am not sure where they come from. Perhaps my imagination enjoys its work. I hope that you enjoy them.

Bear

Fortresses, Violence, and Tattoos

2009-07-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

Fortresses, Violence and Tattoos

Monday C.C. and I went to a parts supply store and I complimented a woman working there on her tattoo. It was a green lizard on her left arm. She said, "I got it a long time ago when I was young. My parents told me that I couldn't have a tattoo, so I went and got one. We talked about her job and we connected briefly as human beings. Moments like these are important to me.

Too often we live inside of our fortresses and our conversation is what the Transactional Analysis people call "Past Times," words that are safe and not connected to any information about us. They argue that we talk about sports and other stuff for that reason. I find that many people are hungry to say something real, even if it's only a few words.

I am curious about what we call entertainment. The crime shows on TV show explicit violence in crimson detail. Violence does not connect people in a positive way. The news stations give a lot of attention to violence. News is often called info-entertainment. Again, I can not understand how acts of violence can be called entertainment. Yet magazines, newspapers, and TV news shows seem to disagree with my position.

Years ago a number of people watched the brutal murder of a woman and did nothing. That event made the news. The conclusion reached by the experts was that all of the violence on TV has made us numb to real violence.

I remember small country towns where people sat in front of rural post offices or in small cafes. They talked about life in the country, their kids, and other real stuff. In those communities, people knew their neighbors and connected with them in positive ways.

I grew up in a neighborhood like that, and perhaps that's why I never meet a stranger. You know that famous line, "A stranger is just a friend that I meet for the first time." That can be dangerous, but it can also be wonderful.

Bear

Some Days the Dragon Wins

2009-07-07T21:34:00.000-07:00

Some Days the Dragon Wins

We can do our very best with our relationships with people and something can happen that has a negative effect on them. The other person may cut us off and leave us wondering what happened. The problem is that we don't know what happened. We may reach out in love and still receive no response from that person. At some point we have to radically accept that there is nothing that we can do.

There are other dragon days. We may try very hard and get a job interview after a lot of rejections. We did our best in the interview and we left hopeful. Later we receive an email or letter that lets us know that we didn't get the job. Looking for work these days seems to be a long and winding road with few stops for interviews. Men derive a good part of their self esteem from having a job and doing well. What happens to them when they are jobless? What keeps them going day after day?
Perhaps it is just a small ember burning in their heats and they must blow on the coal in their hearts by making the best effort they can to find a job. Perhaps they must lower their expectations.

A few negative responses from a significant person in our lives. well intentioned,
may be very painful, especially if we haven't received many positive responses from others. They say that it takes ten positive responses to balance one negative response. I try to find good reasons to give others positive responses, and some times they are store clerks or strangers.. I know that people receive too many negative responses and on those days the Dragon wins.

Perhaps the metaphor serves us well. It seems to me that we need more dragon hunters, and less dragon days.

Bear

Friends

2009-07-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

Drawing at the top
"The Cat's Outside"
Drawing at the bottom

"Three Friends and One More."

If you look at the drawing , "Three Friends and One More," you may miss the little guy or assume that he is the girl's doll. A group of friends seems to be like that; one friend doesn't get noticed, or doesn't see, to stand out.

I am not sure that the phrase, "Birds of a feather flock together," is true. Oh sure, sometimes they dress alike, and they may speak the same lingo, but don't be fooled; they are different in many ways; they only pretend to be the same.

It is true that they may share some of the same values, or hairdo's, or visual cues to prove that they are the same, but different than others. Trust me, within our hidden selves may be our "good riddins selves," , stuff that may awaken friends from their intellectual slumber enough for a, "Hey, you are different from me. Can I live with that." What's happened to viva la difference?" Nothing, except boys finally figure out why girls want the seat left down, and ; "Does that have anything to no with sex?

I am wondering if we just pretend not to see or hear any differences because we need friends. You will notice the drawing on the top is ,"The cat's outside of the house," and then you notice the little mouse. We may use the phrase, "The cat's out of the bag." I trust that you don't keep your cat in a bag, though on occasion your cat may explore a bag because cats are continually curious. Literally the phrase means that the cat is out exploring something else, a box, or some tiny insect traveling through our house. We don't keep our secrets in bags on four by six inch note cards, though that would save a lot of time. Our friends could draw a note card from our bag and we would be the topic for discussion. I actually don't have any secrets, except for a few very boring secrets like, I can't do Trig, Geometry, or Calculus.

I believe I'll end this blog with a phrase now repeated. which I have dissected from an embarrassing moment in puberty, "VIVA LA DIFFERENCE!" By the way, It's no secret that puberty is embarrassing.

Bear

Family Is Forever

2009-07-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Family Is Forever

A family observes painful things and celebrates events with great joy. The divorce of a family member and whatever reasons that surface may feel like sandpaper on an old wound. Grace and forgiveness and love become the healing balm that is required. I find that those gifts of God carry more wisdom than hours of family discussions. Family is forever and all families, at some point in time, need healing. I focus on the healing because family is very important to me.

The marriage of two of my three sons and my daughter were times of joy-filled celebrations. Each of them found a very special person and we are all blessed because we have three new members in our family. Change is good but the transitions sometimes require time and love. We are not perfect; I have more than a few flaws, but we love each other and family is very important to us.

The birth of a child, a niece or nephew for some and a grandchild for others is a time for joy and celebration. A new life brings new life to the family. Families grow and new generations emerge.

Families face conflicts from time to time and some of them are not easy to resolve. At times like that I wish I had more wisdom and I turn to God in prayer. Family members don't need to agree on everything to love and accept each other. Our understanding of God and how to make our spiritual journeys may be different. Sometimes that may cause some family members to feel rejected or judged. Shalom asks us to radically accept each other for who we are and to let God's love be the foundation of our relationships.

Family relationships need not be patronizing. We must learn to love each other in honesty so that we can have authentic relationships. That may test the ties that bind us, but it is necessary for healthy relationships. Loving each other in honesty requires grace and the freedom to know each other fully. Shalom tell us to reassure each other with the words, "You can trust me to love and accept you when you share our differences because I will always love you and I will never abandon you.

Bear

Just Art, My Art

2009-07-04T20:20:00.000-07:00

Some of My Ink Drawings

These are some of my ink drawings. I hope that you enjoy them.

Bear

Family

2009-07-04T13:03:00.000-07:00

Family

The greatest gift that a man can have as shades of gray and white fill his hair, mustache, and beard, is family. Three of my children got married and now Chris, Rachel and Megan are members of our family. After many years, Cole (in the orange sweat shirt), has returned to us and we celebrate is presence in our live. This weekend we met his lady, Sierra and already we love her.
C.C. (my youngest son) has put a new kind of door handle all all of our doors because the old ones hurt his mother's hands (Arthritis required a different kind of handle. He rewired a shag lamp and put a better switch on it and helped me haul stuff to the dump. Our new projects are putting in wood flours and new bath room fans, and he is in charge of them. I am his assistant and I enjoy mt time with him.
Chris and Jennifer have brought our granddaughter Zoe into our lives and they have opened their hearts to us.
Tom and Rachel are looking for a house and they send us pictures of homes that they bid on We love them and celebrate their happiness.
Megan has a kind, loving grace-filled spirited and a beautiful smile. She shares her life with us and we count it a blessing.
Jean and Pat, and Carolyn were there for us when during the hard times after I left the ministry.
We have adopted Fowler into our family. We look forward to his wedding. Fowler and I have been exchanging thoughts in e-mails. When we are together we smoke our pipes and talk about important things.
This may sound like personal stuff, but it is also the beautiful essence of family life.
My second oldest son Tom helped us many times out of love. We provided us with a new dishwasher, refrigerator, washer, and computer and ask nothing in return. His love humbled me and filled me with joy.
The oldest son Lee visits us about every other week. He brings us new knowledge and ideas, food for thought about the world we live in.
Chris has the courage to be open with me and he teaches me about relationships. Sometimes we smoke our pipes together and enjoy our pipes.
Jennifer is a wonderful mother and she shares Zoe with us. She has a sweet and caring heart.
I am blessed by God with a wonderful family.

Bear

Accept No Imitations

2009-07-03T00:30:00.000-07:00

Accept No Imitations

Life is like the old prospector sifting river sand in hopes of finding gold. Sometimes we sit and wait for the mother lode and throw the small nuggets back into the river.God may give us many small answers to our big prayer for whatever we value or need. Frankly, I don't know what I do with the mother lode that many people seek. Pleasure, fame, and wealth may in fact be cheap imitations of real happiness. It all depends on how we define gold. God doesn't seem to desire to make me rich. I am glad that he decided to give me a family that loves me and cares about me. I wouldn't trade them for all of the money in the world. I see wealth, pleasure, and fame as fool's gold. I am not against people being rich and famous or enjoying pleasures. They can be good and even healthy if we put them in the right perspective. Too often they turn our attention away from God.

Some people strive to be the best of the best, which means that only a few of us can be the best. I believe that what God makes of our lives is not only the best, but is also a unique and unrepeatable miracle of God. I like to watch track and field events on TV. Every athlete. has trained hard to win a gold, silver, or bronze medal I am inspired by all of them because the least of them accomplishes things that most of us can't do. To ascend to that level of physical prowess requires a disciplined routine and a commitment to excellence. The limelight is not God's light.

Robert Schuller tells the story of a janitor who took an impossible look at the possibilities of his life. He decided to prepare for and run in the Boston Marathon. Before that, his muscles and joints saw very little physical exercise. His dream wasn't to win the marathon; it was to finish the race. Though he eventually won many marathon races in the senior division, he was always content to be all that God would make of his life.

If we strive to be someone else, we end up being an imitation of another person. In work and play, and goals and dreams, God will make something out of our lives that is genuine and real. I listened to a man who had a PHD and a six figure income. God called him to leave his job, his income and hi s life style, and teach at a small college created by overseas missionaries . It was there that God helped him to find and be his unique and genuine self. God wants us to reach goals that don't leave us being strangers to ourselves.

The question is, do each of us want to be ourselves, the person that God created us to be.? A Chinese woman was pressured by her parents to study hard so that she could be a medical doctor. It was clear that she had the intelligence and the drive to succeed in medical school. One day she awoke to the really that she wanted to earn a Fine Arts degree and become an artist. It was a difficult choice because she knew that her whole family would be disappointed. She succeeded in become an artist and it worked out well for her. Perhaps that is what we mean when we say, "Be true to yourself."

Bear

It Makes we Wonder

2009-06-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

It Makes me Wonder

The Centennial Trail is just a short walk from where I live. When my wife and I walk together we see awesome sites and we are filled with wonder over what God has created. God has filled are world with beauty and it fills me with joy.
Life is not always beautiful, especially when we are hurt or disappointed. The miracle of life is beyond my comprehension. God has put all of our parts together, and they work together to be a human being. When I grow weary I think about that.
God created each of us and the scriptures tell us that God said, "It is good." Wow!
They also say that God knew us when we were in our mother's womb. I ended up leaving my mother's womb at nine pounds and fifteen ounces. Women know that giving birth to such a big baby is hard and painful work. Yet, nothing is more exciting than the birth of a child.
One author wrote, "God leaves his fingerprints on our living souls." None of us are accidents. God knew us before we were born. Every one of us is a unique and unrepeatable miracle of God. It doesn't matter how things turned out at our birth.
I have great compassion for parents who struggle with children that were born with physical problems. God does not love any of those children less. God cherishes each of his children and each life is sacred in his eyes.
My sister Joan dated a man whose son had a mental handicap. He always greeted her with a hug and his presence helped her to see God's love. I have been honored to be the pastor in weddings for mentally handicapped people. It was obvious that they loved each other.
A nun at a Catholic hospital asked me to come and baptize a dead baby. The mother requested that, and the nun knew I would help. My tradition was to place a red rose on the alter to celebrate the gift of life, and a white rose to affirm a that a person had gone on to be held in Jesus loving arms. The mother handed her child to me. There were two flowers on our table, a red rose and a white rose, and a potter's hand made baptismal bowl. I read the whole infant baptismal ritual, and the mother responded to the questions. I placed the baptismal water on the baby's head. There was a large scar there from the autopsy. Death and darkness left the room as God accepted the child into his arms. We could all feel God's presence and the mother found peace in God. I was filled with wonder and awe over what God did. The mother looked into my eyes and said, "Thank you."
The denomination that I serve baptizes infants. Some feel that baptism must be by immersion because it represents the death and resurrection of Christ. I don't deny that , nor do I choose to argue over the meaning of the sacrament. I do know that infants were baptized during the first three centuries of the Christian church. Baptism is a sacrament, a rite of inclusion and we ask the Holy Spirit be a part of it, and do what human words and will can not do. When we baptize an infant or a child, or an adult, we ask God to accept this person and be present to help him or her draw close to Jesus Christ. The body of Christ, present during the baptism, makes a vow to God that they will accept the person and demonstrate Christ's love. Adult's are at an age that they can choose Christ, but children may also choose to accept Christ.
I will leave the theologians to debate the issue and continue to offer God's sacrament of baptism to infants. Paul baptized his jailer's whole family.
I am filled with awe and wonder over the power and presence of God in the sacrament of baptism. It is one of God's wonderful gifts to us.
In the normal day to day events of our lives, our souls hunger for us to open our eyes. and fill them with awe and wonder over what God has done and is doing.
In each of those moments we feed our soul, and we are transformed by the love of God.

Bear

2009-06-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

Our Inner Child

I met a man who was rich enough to buy what ever he wanted. He showed me the $60,000 boatthat he bought a few years back and told me that he didn't have time to use it, that he had neverbeen out in his boat. He showed me his beautiful home and confessed that he didn't spend muchtime there with his wife and children. He made a lot of money, but his job took up most of his time. He belonged to a church, but most Sundays he was working.

It was evident that his wife and children loved him, and they wanted to spend time with them. He felt that that was impossible because he needed his job to give them a very nice home and lots of expensive stuff that they enjoyed. The truth is that he was trapped in the all American stress for success track. Everyone saw him as a winner and yet he had lost all of the important things in life.

I met a woman that spent several years with a company moving from one job to the next. Each new position demanded more of her time. Just after she got the job she had dreamed of, she had a baby. She decided that it was important to spend time with her husband and her child.
She performed well on her job, but her supervisor wasn't satisfied. He made it clear to her that her job required more than forty hours a week. She would have to work some nights and weekends to keep up with her clients and all of her paper work. Her reply was "I have a family and I need to spend time with them." She stood firm on her position and a few months later she lost her job.

I suppose that my ink drawing looks strange to you. Two men are wearing pajamas, "jamies," with bunnies and teddy bears. Their pajamas represent their inner child, a part of them that is nurtured by having fun and playing. It may sound cliche, but families that play together stay together. It's difficult for each of us to take care of our inner child because with live in a stress for success society.

There are many wonderful benefits from taking care of our inner child. We will be healthy and we will live longer. Stress is a key ingredient in most illnesses. It breaks down our immune systems and we feel tired and sick. Play actually frees our minds to solve problems and it releases our creative energy. Play not only reduces our stress it releases endorphins and we arel happy. Play helps to prevent depression. Often when we play, we laugh and giggle together. Norman Mailer proved that laughter can cure illness,

He was far away from home and he was very sick. The doctors kept him in the hospital and constantly interrupted him with tests, but they didn't have any success. He had them stop the tests and treatments and watched many funny movies. His inner child emerged and released him from his illness. Soon, he left the hospital healthy and happy.

I would like to reveal a well kept secret, "God likes to laugh and have fun." I would be barred from most churches if I told them that they were too serious and solemn. I am not denying that we need to deal with our sins, but at the end of the week our worship service should give us some healing and hope. Instead, we may hear sermons which make us feel awful.

I gave a sermon at a church and used a Power Point presentation to celebrate God's love and God's desire for us to have wonderful peace and joy. The many scriptures came with beautiful pictures. I watched people weep with joy and relief. God touched the inner child that he created in each of them.

A man in that church told me that I presented a sermon for fourth graders and the people needed more. I should have hugged him and said, "WOW!!!!" It took me a long time to see that what he intended to be a scolding was really an affirmation of my success. Jesus said, "Unless you become like a little child, you will never enter the kingdom of God." He also said, "Let the children come to me!" Have we forgotten that we are the children of God?

If we take playing and having fun seriously, some one will be sure to say, "Grow up!" Our answer is simple. We know how to take responsibility and we have an excellent work ethic, but God also wants us to have fun and laugh. I take that seriously because my life depends on that.
David wrote psalms, but he also knew how to dance. He danced when his son Absalom died and his world came crashing down on him. I believe that God danced with him in his time of grief. When we are very sad we lose the rhythm of life and we need to find it again. "Sorrow lasts for the night, but joy comes in the morning."

Bear

The Man in the Mirror

2009-06-24T04:24:00.000-07:00

I am getting ready to do two things: make picture boxes to hang on the living room wall, and make scrapbooks for my children so that they can look at the changes in their lives and looks.
Each photograph has captured memories. My ink drawing allows me to see myself in perspective. The mirror seems to be magical in some ways, but it also becomes an appropriate metaphor for our lives.

The man outside the mirror is looking at the image of the physical person that he once was, thin and hansom. When I look through my collection of pictures I see how my body looked and various stages of my life. When I look at my body I see that I am not the physical man that I used to be,

What I can't see in the mirror are the changes inside of me. I lost my job at Daybreak on the fourteenth day of February 2009. I spent my last year there teaching students who abused drugs or alcohol or both. They came to live in the inpatient treatment center for an average of forty five days. They came because their addiction was ruining their lives, because the drugs and/or alcohol had changed both their physical bodies and the persons inside them.

Many of them had been abused physically, sexually, or verbally or all those ways. Drugs ans/or alcohol eased their pain, but their addiction took control of their lives, took away all of the good things that they should have enjoyed as they grew up. In that sense they stopped developing when they started taking drugs, Their chronological age may have been sixteen, but their developmental age might be twelve or ten, or even eight years old. Their behavior matched their developmental age. Most of them had a problem with anger and a lot of pain.

I was verbally abused by my stepfather throughout my high school and college years, and even after I got married and left home. Three other things affected the man inside me. My parents were divorced when I was eleven years old. My mother remarried when I was thirteen and I had to leave the my home in Tacoma, leave all of my friends, and move to Bellevue. My father died of cancer, Hogkins disease, when I was fifteen. I was angry with my parents because they got divorced, even though they still loved each other. I was angry with my mother because she got married again two years after the divorce and my stepfather wouldn't allow me to take my dog, Taffy, with me, and Taffy was put to sleep, died. I was angry with God because God let my father die. I was angry the man inside me was wounded and full of pain.

It took me many years to heal and to understand the man inside my body. Some of the wounds were very painful to deal with and it took along time to find the courage with face them and find a healing, I had good days and bad days and it seemed that I had no control over them It took time to discover how much that God loves me.

The man inside of me had to deal with the fear that the people he loved would abandon him. They proved that I was wrong by standing with me, and loving me. Love is the most important ingredient in healing. They gave me the hope and courage to continue my healing journey, and most of all that were willing to forgive me,

The physical man that I am has been affected by age, and that part of me wasn't happy about growing old. The man inside me has grown and changed and he is a much better person. Most of my days are good days, but occasionally I feel sadness and shame.

All things are possible if we have patience, faith, hope, love and the courage to persevere. There are no instant healings or quick fixes. We have to choose our healing everyday. It's hard, painful work, but it's worth it.

Blessings for you as you continue your journey,

Bear

2008-04-19T15:22:00.000-07:00

Standing on the steps a journey begins
a little boy wearing cowboy boots
and lots of attitude
as he looks at life.
He can not imagine what awaits him.
He can not predict the weather
in each of seasons of his life
that lay ahead in the seasons
spring, summer, fall and winter
that messure the years and changes
that will shape him him, please him, tortment or tease him and
fill him we heart racing, quick passing, all embracing love.
His experiences have only allowed him to read
the first pages of the book that will contain
all of the chapters of his life.
Some believe that each sentance is written by the stars.
I watch them read their horocsopes each day in the newspaper.
Others believe that a divine hand has touched their lives
and left fingerprints on their souls and has made a specific plan
that will guide them through mortality to a promised land.
When I wore boots and lots of attitude at the tender age of five
I met God, my creator, and I knew the reason for my life,
and I defied the rules and the tradition of my church
just eight years old was I, and formally baptized.
I knew then that my life was not an accident,
that I was chosen and called by God
to wear the yoke that Elijah the prophet
and Paul the missionary evangelist wore.
Later I learned that God knew each of us before the dawn of time
before God created the world and blew into the clay the breath of life
and first living being, the first human being, became a living soul.
Later I learned that God knit me together in my mother's womb,
and already had seen all of the days of my life, that I am still living the pages in the chapters of the book of my days that were written with with great love and compassion.
I have read pages from future chapter in advance on occassion, which means that I have had visions, and they have come to pass. I have come to new places and I recognized everything that was there.
You will shout to me, "What about free will?" I will answer, "There is God's will and there is the will of an evil enemy who seeks to seduce us and destroy our lives." There are moments when we are free to choose God's will, or become slaves of our worst mortal enemy, but not every moment is a moment of choice. Something must awaken us, and soften our hard hearts, and shout to us, "Whoever Jesus Christ sets free is free indeed."
Frredom in error, false freedom, is believing that true freedom is doing whatever we want to do. That is the freedom of folly which come from a place in our hearts that caused angels to fall. I call it intellectual suicide because the wisdom of man is foolishness compared to the Wisdom of God.
Too much attitude must humbled on our knees as we surrender our will to God,
and accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and savior. Only then can we live and experience that pages and chapters that God wrote in each of our books, long before the dawn of time.

2008-04-06T11:46:00.000-07:00

Pride, Posture, Pain and Purpose

The Reasons for Heresy

We have the freedom to give any meaning to God's Word that we choose. Our response to what we read depends on several things. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. Many people have opened their hearts to God because God's Word never comes back void. I'll give you scripture references/bible verses in mt next blog.

When our hearts are open we can find the true meaning of God's Word as it speaks to our personal circumstances. We experience who God is and we discover how much God loves us. We find God's gifts of mercy, grace, and forgiveness and we have the opportunity to recieve them.

Jesus often shared "Those who have hears let them hear and those who have eyes let them see." God is willing to open our eyes and ears so that we can see who God is and so that he can speak to us and allow the Truth to set us free.
God has chosen to give us free will, and allows to decide if we want to see and hear.

I learned early in my life that we can't make anyone see or hear God. Four things often get in our way: our pride, our posture, our pain, and our pupose

Pride has to do with how we see ourselves. Some people believe that they are intelligent enough to discover all they need to know on theor own. Others believe that they have wealth, power, and success because of their own efforts and don't need anyone's help. Life for them is the survival of the the strongest, the smartest and the best. Pride prevents them from asking anyone for help. They see God as a security blanket for the weak, for the losers, for those who don't have what it takes to make it, to succeed. The Word of God is unimportant to most of them Some rewrite it to justify what they want to do or how they live their lives. Some preachers have turned the bible into a instruction manual for those who wish to be rich, famous, and powerful. The bible says "Pride comes before a fall."

Posture has to do with how we treat others. Satan fell because he believed that he could be a god. New age religion offers that opportunity, and it appears that there are many levels that may be achieved. Scientists believe that they what they have discovered is the truth, that we have evolved from lower life forms. Science seems to be their god and the bible is a book filled with myths. In our country success has become a god, along with wealth, power, fame and a higher standard of living. Those who have more, win more, are more popular, tougher, and so on, are better than others. Those who have less deserve less. Our heroes are those who win and winning is everything. It matters who wins or loses. Winning is what life is all about. There is even a label for this. "the best of the best." Jesus challenged the posture of the scribes ans pharisees and said, "If you want to be first in the kingdom of God you must be the servant of others." Many preachers measure their success by their salaries and the size of their churches. Some of Jesus' disciples argued/fought over their position and rank in Jesus' group of twelve. His response was to wash their feet.

Pain is a common reason for rejecting God. A young man shared with me that he was raised by his mom. She asked the pastor for some help and he said he would send some one over. No one came. When she asked her pastor about that, he had nothing to say. A woman lost everything because her husband decided to divorce her and marry a younger woman. Her friends at church stopped having lunch with her, and she lost her position/volunteer job in her church. Her church rejected her and abandoned her. Victims of rape, incest, physical abuse, and a variety of painfull trajedies often blame God and ask, "How could a loving God allow this to happen to me.

Purpose is our plan, goal, or lack of both. What we choose to do becomes our destiny, our future and our tomorrow. That is the essence of the most important decision of our lives. If we choose Christ we must surrender our will and serve him. That requires sacrifice and it may include pain and suffering. We can choose what the world has to offer: wealth, power, fame, and a opporinity obtain success.
That requires another kind of sacrifice, our souls, our salvation, and our intimate relationship with God. The phrase, "To thine own self be true," can create a selfish attitude. It an also embrace the life of a humble servant of God.

Heresy is born in the womb of four mothers: pride, posture, pain, and purpose. They often determine how people experience God's word, by making them blind and deaf. They prevent us from seeing God and hearing his Word for our personal circumtances and God's offer of grace, mercy, love and salvation.

My son, Tom drew a picture of Apollos for my book. You are free to find your own meaning for my son's creation. God has given us free will. Each of us must choose how we will use it.

2008-04-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

Mimesis
Mimesis is a Greek word which is used to explain the transformation of experiences, feelings imagination, and thoughts in to images, poetry, sculpture, creative writing and art. It is the "geist", or effort of apprehension that results in something new, that no longer belongs to the artists sculptor, poet, writer, or designer. What is created, belongs to the reader, the viewer, and those that are able to both see and touch a sculpture. I shall call this our response to art, to every form of art. Music should be included. Even a cooking recipe, or an architect's design of a new building or a cooks new recipe is art. Those that experience art are free to assign it meaning, and thus bring the art into existence. Without an audience to experience the art, it has no meaning. Authentic art is always created for an audience, a reader, an observer, and most of all, a person willing to fully experience the artist's creation.
In that sense, all of the literary critics, art critics, theologians, cinema reviewers, "expertise" is nothing more than the meaning that exists in their experience of the the art.
Though they say, "This is what it means," and add one of their many labels to the art, every artist's creation takes on its own meaning once the artist has finished his/her creation. The purpose of art is not to establish a correct interpretation, but rather it is the pursuit of new meaning. Only the audience has the power to establish the new meanings for a work of art.
In my search for new meaning I discovered sixteen interpretations of the famous Moma Lisa. One was a sketch by my son, Tom, two of them were photographs, and thirteen of them were paintings. I found two punk Mona's, a Starbucks Mona, an Elizabethan Mona, a robot Mona, a Mac Donald's Mona, a van Gogh starry night Mona, a Gothic Mona, a heavy metal Mona, a native amercican Mona ans so on. They helped me to understand what happens when we fully experience an artist's creation through our humanity, our imagination and intellect, our life experiences, our souls, and our intimate realtionship with our creator.
The artist may be a master of the elements, emotions, shared human experiences, and feelings that invite new meanings, and may understand how to blend them skillfully, but art always goes beyond its creators finest effort. Art is a creation that continues to give birth to new meaning.
Helmut Rheder would call this significant form. All creations are significant forms, as unique as the finger prints of their creators. Every experience of an artist's creation is signicant form, because it bears the fingerprints of each person who experiences it and gives it life.
Calvin wrote that the Holy Spirit is the pair of glasses which allows us to read and understand the scriptures. New Christian denominations and independent churches were born out of a the meaning a preacher, theologian, or bible student assigned to one or many scriptures.
God is a master artist and his Word continues to create new meaning which a very diverse group of people are able to relate to. It is not heretical to say that Christians continue to discover new meaning in God's art. Perhaps that is why God assigned a diverse group of people to receive his Word and offer it to all of us as God's art. God's Word relates to both shared human experiennces and unique human circumstances. Our intimate relationship with Jesus Christ allows us to discover God as we enter into the fullness our experiences with God's Word. The results of the new meanings that we discover include faith, healing, joy, love, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, and Wisdom beyond the depth of our comprehension.
Those who believe that God's purpose was to create a legalistic document confined to the interpretaion of bible scholars aand thelogians have missed the whole point. They would have us experience their experiences of God's art. rather than allowing each of us have an intimate experience with God's Word.
Lomg ago, when I was a young preacher, I discovered that my sunday sermon should allow the people to experience a variety of new meanings. Of course I held myself accountable to God as I created my sermons. I also prayed that the Holy Spirit and the souls of my congregation would join together in a unique opportunity to discover many meanings. I was determined not to reject the meaning that any person found in my sermon. A true sermon is God's art and a creation that belongs to each person who experiences it. It can never be a text which must be read because God, the listener, and the preacher all participate in the experience. It is not just words, but rather a union of our humanity, our faith, our souls, and God. In truth, the experience is not a creation of the preacher. He or she may provide the opportunity for new meanings, but he or she does not create them.
Heresy does exists. I will explain why in my next blog.

2008-04-04T23:28:00.000-07:00

I took a photograph of a barn when I was on a walk with my wife. I like the picture because the old barn, weathered gray after many years still stood proudly for all of us to see. I had the opportunity to use a Coral program, which transformed my photo into a painting by tansforming it into brush strokes. It looked different, but it was still the old barn.

Everyday life changes us, transforms us through the brush strokes of time. We look different, but we are still ourselves. Like the old barn, I have stood the test of time, but I am still standing.

My students looked at my engagement picture and then looked at me. They couldn't believe that the young man without a beard was the old man with a gray beard that they see every day. The young man was in the spring season of his life, and I am in the winter of my life. The young man was beginning a new journey, an exciting adventure. He had his whole life ahead of him and was strong and vital. I am moving toward the end of my life and parts of me don't work as well.
I go to a physical therapist twice a week and he works on my back, my wrist and a finger on my right hand, which has the beginning of arthritis. Yes, he has an approach to taking the stiffness out of my finger and my back, and a way to strengthen my wrist. His treatments have helped to push back some of the brushstrokes of time, but time continues to work on my body each day with new brush strokes.
I used to enjoy loud, large gatherings of people. Silence and solitude seem to be more attractive now and I enjoy being alone with myself. Of course, I enjoy family gatherings and time with my grown up children and my wife. I don't see my family as much.. Myself and my wife are more available. Brush strokes of time also change all of our lives.
Our lives are all like a painter's canvas and our pictures change with new brush strokes. A young man who supervises my exercises during physical therapy grew up without a father. We are going to play disk golf together, new brush strokes on my canvas. Life changes and offers us some new and good things. Each person has opportunities for some good brush strokes. We enjoy the colorful brush strokes, but they can fade in time. Winter isn't as colorful as spring, but there are some flowers that arrive in the winter, like the desert cactus which blooms in winter.

I discovered that we can find new colors in our lives, even in our winter season. Perhaps this blog will be like that.

When Pigs Fly

2007-12-29T12:55:00.000-08:00

I remember visiting one of those fifty percent off card shops. My wife was exploring Joanne’s store and I needed somewhere to spend time. I spent my time looking at statues of bears, clowns and angels. Later in my exploration of the card shop I discovered a unique coffee mug. Pink pigs with pink wings and red Converse high top tennis shoes were flying in a blue sky filled with quarter moons, Saturn planets, and round golden suns. Beneath the six flying pigs were large halves of pink planets with gray circles.

I showed my wife the mug, my new treasure, which was on sale for two dollars. She gave me the “not now” answer. During each of our treks to Joanne’s Fabrics I led Sharon to the card shop and pointed out my treasure. I collected enough “not nows” to fill a mythical dance cards, over a period of two years. I was amazed by the fact that the “when pigs fly” mug was still there. It was as if it was waiting for me to take it home. It seemed as if I would get the mug “when pigs fly.” However, on warm summer day, which was just right for pigs to fly, I heard the most wonder words resonating like a tabernacle choir in my waiting ears, “okay dear.” Those to delightful words sent joy tingling in my spine.

I took the mug and its flock of pink pigs home, washed it like the feet of a dear friend, and brewed delicious decaf coffee. I paused in a moment of reverent silence before filling it with Verona decaf. The two fingers beneath the thumb of my right hand gently wrapped themselves around the large white handle of the mug and its white rim met my lips. I took a sip of coffee and the ritual was completed.

The new metaphor for living was captured in the symbolic art work on the mug. The answer to the order of wet blanket nay-sayers soared in a sky filled four flying pink pigs. All my moments lacking vital yeses to new challenges and lofty goals were met by a mug of black coffee brimming with the answer and steaming hot with new passion for life. My voice resonated words of new resolve. Pigs do fly and soar freely in the beautiful blues skies of our imaginations where planets of possibilities orbit as they please and gravity gives way to weightlessness and sets the soul at ease.

We perpetuate the seasonal myths of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and frame them in story books with colorful images. While they may be heart warming and able to capture incentives for giving, they pale in the presence of the inspiration offered our imaginations by the metaphor of four flying pink pigs wearing red high top Converse tennis shoes. They are the Converse reply to Nike’s “You can dot it!” The very thought of pigs in space gives us feelings of new found freedom and grace. Perhaps, they, too, could be the stuff of story books with colorful images. A new season to celebrate with songs of new tomorrows and joyful tingling spines massaged by inspired imaginations could greet us with yes-filled answers for one and all. It is not true that seeing is believing, but rather imagining is becoming. Instead of cards with anemic greeting such as “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings,” we could send pulsing, heart racing thoughts such as “Pigs Fly” or “Pigs Soar.” Inside we may read, “And visions of red Converse high tops touching the sky, dance dangling from pigs that know how to fly. May all your hopes and dreams soar higher than high and may each and every goal become the stuff of great stories before you die.”

Madison Avenue could start a new trend and advertise everywhere that life is good before and after it ends. Miss Piggy could be a new spokesperson and wear new wings. She could begin with a karate chop and say, “Hi Yah!” to troublesome things, and dubious doubts that would never fly and alas a conversion of “Here’s mud in your eye!” Come hope and dreams, and yeses all in a row, now is the time to sprout your new piggy wings as off you go, click your red high top Converse heels together and shout, “There is no place like home.” It could be bigger than a Macey’s sale, bigger than a runner winning the Olympic gold after years of hitting the trail, as big as an innocent man being freed after years in jail. I challenge those gold makes all the rules to fly with pigs and stop being fools. I challenge you to get up and greet each new with a grand new slogan “My pigs are flying and I’m on my way. I know I can do it and I’ll tell you why; my pigs are soaring in a summer sky, with planets of possibilities on a day of imagination filled with delightful dreams.”

My muse today is a patient mug that waited two years to come home with me. After a long period of “not now” it finally had its day. The truth is that every flying pig should have its day. The four on my mug received an okay from my wife and each of their four yeses came home with me to stay. This mythical metaphor for our imaginations carries with it freedom and a passion for living and a whimsical muse filled with as much truth as the unbeliever’s regime of rational fiction. Each of us is left to embrace life and cleanse our souls from the dark shadows of doubts. We begin by embracing one yes to a hope or dream, or goal.

Robert Schuler built on Norman Vincent Peale’s Power of Positive thinking and transformed it into Possibility Thinking. Robert earned his pink pig wings by transforming a humble start in an Orange County drive-in to a Crystal Cathedral worthy of all who dare to fly. He shared the story of a fifty seven year old out of shape janitor who found his first yes and trained for the Boston Marathon. After believing enough to train and shed his fat, he won the Boston Marathon’s first place ribbon for seniors and he kept running and collecting blue ribbons. I believe that Peale and Schuler, and the running senior should be knighted in “The Order of the Four Pink Flying Pig*’, or receive acclaim in the”Flying Pigs Hall of Fame.”

My Compliments To Jess Lair

2007-12-24T17:39:00.000-08:00

Jess Lair wrote a book entitled, “I Don’t Know Where I’m Going, but I Sure Ain’t Lost.” I looked for the book, but I couldn’t find it. The book is lost, but memories and inspiration remain. He tells the story of a man lost at sea, surrounded by endless plains of emerald ocean water. It had been days since he had experienced the comfort and safety of his boat. He never dreamed that he would be imprisoned in the cold water of the Atlantic Ocean. His lifejacket kept him afloat and yet there was no hope. He waited for death to come and relieve him of his agony. Time was running out for him like the sands in an hour glass. Suddenly after what seemed to be an eternity of suffering, he saw a bright light. A seaman on a fishing boat noticed something in the water and alerted his captain. Their searchlight revealed his presence to them and they lifted him out of the waters to the safety and warmth of the fishing boat. He didn’t know where the boat would take him, but he knew that he was no longer lost.

Life was filled with endless possibilities when we were young and it seemed that anything was possible. We were overwhelmed with choices, inspired by dreams and filled with passions. We believed that we were invincible and old age was very far away. But years eroded the plethora of possibilities, and dreams wilted like spring flowers, as the spring and summer of our lives turned to fall and finally winter. The fires and passions that once raged in the hearth of our hearts could no longer fill the room with warmth.

Zorba the Greek disagreed. When his death neared, he raged against the dark saying, “They say that death steals the fire inside of a man, that he hears death calling and says, ’Come in.'

That is a pack of damn lies. I’ve got enough fire inside of me to devour the world.” Nikos Kazantzakis, the Greek author, journalist and statesman, 1883 to 1957, wrote the book, “Zorba the Greek,” Zorba was the sensual man of passion and the Englishman was the intellectual man of reason. Zorba tells the Englishman, “You have everything but one thing, madness. Without madness, you can never cut the rope and truly be free.” The Englishman weighed everything, used all his book learning and knowledge to ensure that he met his goals. But he lacked the ability to take risks. Zorba asked The Englishman, “Why do people die, why does anybody die?” The Englishman answered, “I don’t know. I don’t know.” Zorba pressed the question by asking, “If you and all your books can’t tell you that, then what they tell you?” The Englishman’s voice resonated sadness when he answered, “About the agony of men who can’t answer such questions.” Zorba lived his life with reckless abandon, but he loved Bubalina and he was overwhelmed by grief. Zorba followed his passion, but lost in his sea of chaos he needed an island of reason to keep his sanity. Zorba needed the Englishman’s reasons to give him some meaning and order in his life.

Life demands choices of us that aren’t safe, choices that help us to get unstuck and set us free, choices that create new possibilities when there don’t seem to be any possibilities. To be alive is to chance and adapt and grow. Without friction the tires spin but the car doesn’t go anywhere. Without challenges and risks our lives stall and we begin to die, a slow, depressing, painful death. Helen Keller wrote, “Life has no guarantees. There are guarantees for alarm clocks and automobiles, but there are no guarantees for life. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at all.” She was deaf, dumb, and blind, but she was less handicapped than most of us. She figured it all out through what the German philosophers call “geist,” which means an effort of comprehension, a journey into unexplored possibilities that creates new meaning. We are all explorers for a brief time, yet we may discover new lands, and new paradigms. We may not know where we are going, but can’t be lost if we are willing to risk the journey.

“The Lady and the Tiger” is a familiar story. A princess and a common man fall in love, but her father won’t let them marry. His punishment is a choice between two doors. Behind one door is a tiger, and behind the other is a beautiful woman (not the princess who he loves.) The princess knows what is behind each door. She tells him which door to choose. Is she jealous enough to give the man she loves the door in front of the tiger, or does she love him enough to save his life though that would require him to marry the beautiful woman. Will he trust her and heed her advice, or assume the worst and choose the other door? We are left to decide.

Shakespeare wrote, “When you ride a tiger, you can never get off.” Many of us ride our tiger; invest most of our time pursuing our careers. Others make the love of their life their first priority, and don’t climb high up the ladder of success. True love requires great sacrifices but it leads to a depth of intimacy that tiger-riders will never experience. Either choice may lead to regrets latter in life.

Cat Stevens wrote a song called, “The Cats in the Cradle.” A parent was too busy with work to spend time with his/her children. Old age arrives and the parent’s child is too busy with his/her work to spend time with his /her parent. You can exchange spouse for parent and spouse for child, or change parent to parents and add spouse and child, and so on. The song is about our regrets over not spending time with the people that we love.

This is a true story. A very wealthy man went to a counseling appointment with a PhD clinical psychologist. He wrote a check for $10,000 and said, “I’ll give you this check if you can show me how to experience love.” He wanted to know what to do because he had never experienced love. The PhD clinical psychologist shook his head and said, “I can’t do that for you.” He was prepared to offer more money, but all of his money could not buy him love. Perhaps life’s greatest journey is our search for love. To love someone and to be loved by that person may be life’s greatest gift, but it is not available on demand. The other person must fall in love with that one special person and continue to choose to love him/her. Love must be nurtured if it is to grow. Neglect can often put out the fire of love and leave both people wanting its warmth. Love requires the daily investment of our time and sacrifices to meet the needs of the other. Sometimes keeping love alive and healthy can be hard work and seem to have no immediate rewards. It takes courage and commitment to “Blow on the coal of the heart,” but often I have seem dying embers transformed into glowing fires, more than enough to keep the room, where two hearts live, warm.

My bias has emerged. I learned how to get off my tiger and spend time with those I love. I left an eighteen year career behind and worked tirelessly to make up time. There is lots of fire in the hearth and little money in the bank. Some days I feel lost and ride my tiger in my dreams. But morning comes and I hold Sharon in my arms, and I know that I am truly a wealthy man. I have a lot to make up for with my wife and children, but they have been kind to this sixty year old man. The truth is that I don’t know where I am going, but I’m not lost. I am on a journey and love is my path, my guide, and my passion. Today I spent time with my son Tom, and the love of his life Rachel. It brings me great joy to see how much they love each other. They have begun a wonderful journey and I pray that love will always be their path, their guide and their passion. May their lives be filled with enough reason to keep their sanity and order their chaos, and enough passion to keep the fire burning in their hearth and keep the room warm where two hearts live as one.

It's Still Me But I Have Changed

2007-12-23T19:55:00.000-08:00

My son Tom is standing with me in the first picture. He has been writing his blog for some time and he is an excellent writer. You can find his blog at http://www.kindaconfusing.blogspot.com/. Sevel years ago he set up a blog site for me. I called it "I Ain't Dead Yet," but I seldom wrote anything. I reasoned that no one wouls read my thoughts. Tonight I decided to begin again, though I am unsure of my audience. The man you see in the first picture with his son, is sixty years old. I have lived a full life as Zorba the Greek puts it "Wife, house, children, the full catastrophy." In my case, four children, a wonderful wife for thirty eight years, a manufactured hime, an old Saturn and an old Pontiac Grand Am (given to me by a friend for $500).

I have manged to live an interesting life without climbing the ladder of success and without acquiring material wealth, but as My grandmother Gertrude once said, "I'm just as happy as if I had good sense." Happiness has little to do with being rich, or having a career which leads you to the top of the ladder. It has a lot to do with having and loving a soulmate, and my wife Sharon fuels the passion behind love poems and the keeps the fire burning in my hearth. It has a lot to do with seeing the gifts in ordinary moments, and saving the memory of them in the treasure box of our minds. During the Great Depression my gandfather Fredrick found great strength in a humble life affirmation, "They can take everything from me but my memories. I keep them in the treasure box of my mind and take them out on rainy days.

Pictures shouldn't stay packed away in boxes. I discovered that I had lots of those clear plastic picture boxes with cardboard backings. I sorted through hundres of old pictures and selected a set of pictures for each of my children. Four clear plastic picture boxes were placed on my bedroom wall. I created all sorts of picture boxes after that and pictures of my sisters, my mom, sharon's om, my dad and sharon's dad, and on and on until I covered our bedroom walls and our living room walls with memories from the treasure box of my mind. When I arrive home at the end of the day, I greeted by wonderful memories.

I bought a scanner/printer for fifty dollars at Walmart and scanned hundres of pictures into organized picture files, made picture mugs for Sharon and I, to take to work, and scrapbook pages with clever sayings. I intend to have scrapbooks on our coffee table waiting to take our family on journies through treasured memories.

I designed a quilt with Sharon's help, a story quilt with images that symbols of moments in our life. Soon I will stitch together my tapestry quilt and hang it on the dinning room wall. Perhaps it will become another step into the journey of memories, which adds new meaning and purpose to our lives each day. I have learned that we all of memories wich we can celebrate in created ways. We can focus on the good things in our lives instead of complaining or getting lost in regrets.

The second picture is my poetry reading before a packed house. The audience laughed, and cried, and applauded spontaniously. I will share some of those poems later. I come from a long line of storytellers. I tell stories as my father did when I was a child. I took a six hour graduate class in how to teach students to write. Elanor Michaels a professor of education at the University oF Idaho introduced us to the Northwest Inland Writers' Project, part of a natioanl moment to encourage teachers to teach their studenhts to write and inspire them to love writing. The idea behind my presentation was to teach them how to use storytelling as prompt for writing. I dressed in black and put white make up on my face. I held my storytellers staff while the teachers waited in a circle. I turned and faced them and handed my staff to one of them. It was fashioned i China from fine wood and was over five feet tall, As I told my holocaust story I gave them parts to act out. Soon my words and their words were transformed into rhythmic poetry, words became the dance of life, as my main characters song of a freedom, to great to be contained by a concentration camp, gradually led him closer and closer to his death, "I am free like the eagle. No fence can hold my soul. You can destroy my body, but my spirit remains whole. I'm am free." His sacrifice gave new life to each prisoner and as they joined him in his song, freedom transformed their souls. When I finished my holocaust story, tears flooded the teachers faces, and they were too moved by the story to write. The story came akive in each of them and for a few miutes they were the prisoners in a concentration camp witnessing the courage of the singer who refused to quit singing his song. I failed. My story did not serve as a writing prompt, but the story succeeded in something much greater. We connected is human/inhumane experience and together we found the fullness of our humanity.

The third picture shows me breaking bricks for the first time. I was in graduate school at the University of Arizona and I needed exercise. I signed up for lessons in Kenpo karate. It wasn't easy for me because I am uncoordinated. My muscles complained about the new martial arts discipline, but their resistence gradually gave way to the will of my instructor. Years later, I took lessons from Al Tracy, the grandmaster of our Kenpo system, and one of the greatest martial arts teachers of our time. I earned a brown belt after I mastered eleven katas and over one hundred and sixty self defense tecniques. I had my own Kenpo school for four years and I saw many boys and girls, men and women change dramaticly as they learned Kenpo.

My sister, Barbara Lee, who now calls herself Micayla, used to say, "When the student is ready, the teacher will come." Though I lost her because of a family conflict, I will always carry her in my heart. She was my teacher many times in my life, and I celebrate what I learned from her. I regret losing her, ut she lives in so many wonderful memories in the the treasure box of my mind. There is a place there for the people we lose. My father died when I was fifteen, but he lives there. My mother has passed away, but she also lives there.

I am old and I have changed, but I refuse to complain. I treat each new day as a gift and I am still collecting memories for the treasure box in my mind. If we are meant to journey together, you find. Perhaps you will share some of the memories in the treasure box in your mind.